// 1. Hate adventuring
IF ~Global("##MyNPCFriendTalks","GLOBAL",1) RealGlobalTimerExpired("##MyNPCFriendTalksTimer","GLOBAL")~ ##F1
  SAY ~Boring, boring boring. I hate adventuring, don't you?~
  IF ~~ DO ~SetGlobal("##MyNPCFriendTalks","GLOBAL",2) RealSetGlobalTimer("##MyNPCFriendTalksTimer","GLOBAL",3600)~ EXIT
END

// 2. Stains
IF ~Global("##MyNPCFriendTalks","GLOBAL",3) RealGlobalTimerExpired("##MyNPCFriendTalksTimer","GLOBAL")~ ##F2
  SAY ~Stains. I just hate them. They're so hard to get out of clothes, and what with having no regular access to hot water--argh!~
  IF ~~ DO ~SetGlobal("##MyNPCFriendTalks","GLOBAL",4) RealSetGlobalTimer("##MyNPCFriendTalksTimer","GLOBAL",3600)~ EXIT
END

// 3. Hate the forest
IF ~Global("##MyNPCFriendTalks","GLOBAL",5) RealGlobalTimerExpired("##MyNPCFriendTalksTimer","GLOBAL")~ ##F3
  SAY ~<CHARNAME>, I don't mean to alarm you but YOU HAVE A HUGE SPIDER IN YOUR HAIR. God I hate the wild.~
  IF ~~ DO ~SetGlobal("##MyNPCFriendTalks","GLOBAL",6) RealSetGlobalTimer("##MyNPCFriendTalksTimer","GLOBAL",3600)~ EXIT
END

// 4. Bad jokes
IF ~Global("##MyNPCFriendTalks","GLOBAL",7) RealGlobalTimerExpired("##MyNPCFriendTalksTimer","GLOBAL")~ ##F4
  SAY ~What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eyed-deer! Ahaha, I kill myself. Literally, I have no sense of humour, sometimes I just want to...~
  IF ~~ DO ~SetGlobal("##MyNPCFriendTalks","GLOBAL",8) RealSetGlobalTimer("##MyNPCFriendTalksTimer","GLOBAL",3600)~ EXIT
END

// 5. Hate adventuring, part II; let's find an inn!
IF ~Global("##MyNPCFriendTalks","GLOBAL",9) RealGlobalTimerExpired("##MyNPCFriendTalksTimer","GLOBAL")~ ##F5
  SAY ~There's no way I could convince you to stay in civilisation? I hate all this trekking through the wilderness.~
  IF ~~ DO ~SetGlobal("##MyNPCFriendTalks","GLOBAL",10) RealSetGlobalTimer("##MyNPCFriendTalksTimer","GLOBAL",3600)~ EXIT
END

// 6. Yay for inns!
IF ~Global("##MyNPCFriendTalks","GLOBAL",11) RealGlobalTimerExpired("##MyNPCFriendTalksTimer","GLOBAL")~ ##F6
  SAY ~Oh thank Selune for nice, warm beds and hot meals and steaming baths...~
  IF ~~ DO ~SetGlobal("##MyNPCFriendTalks","GLOBAL",12) RealSetGlobalTimer("##MyNPCFriendTalksTimer","GLOBAL",3600)~ EXIT
END

// 7. Ruined dress
IF ~Global("##MyNPCFriendTalks","GLOBAL",13) RealGlobalTimerExpired("##MyNPCFriendTalksTimer","GLOBAL")~ ##F7
  SAY ~(wail) My dress! My beautiful beautiful dress! You ruined it! Last night, you spilt soup on it!~
  IF ~~ DO ~SetGlobal("##MyNPCFriendTalks","GLOBAL",14) RealSetGlobalTimer("##MyNPCFriendTalksTimer","GLOBAL",3600)~ EXIT
END

// 8. Being a parent
IF ~Global("##MyNPCFriendTalks","GLOBAL",15) RealGlobalTimerExpired("##MyNPCFriendTalksTimer","GLOBAL")~ ##F8
  SAY ~You know, sometimes I wonder whether I'd make a good mother. Do you think you'd make a good parent? Frankly, I don't.~
  IF ~~ DO ~SetGlobal("##MyNPCFriendTalks","GLOBAL",16) RealSetGlobalTimer("##MyNPCFriendTalksTimer","GLOBAL",3600)~ EXIT
END