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Brythe


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#1 Shfelliot

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Posted 18 December 2007 - 03:04 PM

Hi! It's been dead around in here for awhile, but I just want to keep note that I *am* writing a bunch of Brythe in my spare time whether it be in WordPad or in a journal that I transfer to computer, but I was asked to keep a couple more tabs up here.

They haven't even been uploaded or *begun* to have been edited or looked over, but I would like to state I have *finally* finished my first drafts of the first rounds of banter with all NPCs, interjections and have finished my first draft of the opening recruitment, and have started a bunch of the romance talks as well. Finally, I have stuff to upload...yay. I'm still working on his first quest details.

I would love to give you guys a sampling of something...maybe in a couple of days I'll post the introduction talks in their entirety, just so you people can get a little flavor of the type of character Brythe is...crazy, fallible, quirky, disturbing, amusing, etc. Brythe is *not* your typical serial killer type. Conversations with Brythe with the PC and other NPCs can be expected to be interesting, disturbing beyond reason at times, funny as hell other times, likable, uncomfortable, etc. Keep in mind you're talking to someone who hasn't had real prolonged human contact for a long, LONG time. Keep in mind he used to be a farm boy before he became a mercenary and then, well, other things. Expect your mind to be messed with quite a bit. Brythe is a very flawed individual with a wide range of emotions who doesn't see things like other people see them anymore, and thus his contact with other NPCs can be expected to be unpredictable. He has a penchant for disarming people with his reactions, though he will thoroughly get his ass handed to him in many conversations as well, though those conversations don't always go where the people initially expect them to. Serious subjects can become the subject of uncomfortableness, and simple whimsical inquiries can turn much, MUCH darker. My aims are always to work around stereotypical expectations in this particular mod.

Nothing is permanent keep in mind on the writing avenue, and I still would like a few people to consult with to help me with staying consistent in the writing, so always looking for volunteers on that avenue.

In the spirit of giving you a little something to hang onto for the meantime, I present to you the (very, VERY) first, unedited drafts of two banters with two NPCs picked to illustrate two different aspects of Brythe. Remember, as stated in other posts, for a reason all in itself to be explained in the mod, Brythe *never* initiates banters, ie starts the talk.

First NPC up is Edwin.

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Edwin: It seems since my last visit, <CHARNAME> seems to have developed a fetish for the services of pasty men with teary moral quandries. (Better the pasty monkey flaunt his dark side to let for the real mastermind to work his machinations without the hero trying to stick his nose where it does not belong).

Brythe: ...pasty? I don't believe I've been described exactly that way before. I suppose sitting in the dark hasn't exactly done wonders for my skin, but that almost seems a little bit harsh.

Edwin: Boy, your skin is so white we might mistake you for a zombie and slay you the next time we go creeping about the tombs. (And we better go creeping soon as my itch for treasure is setting in again so to speak.)

Brythe: Now being called undead, *that* I I have gotten. Would you believe the first village I came into after getting out chased me half a mile with torches because they thought I was a zombie? I think I went through like three villages before I finally got somewhere where a local priest tried shining a ray of light on me and finding it didn't work so well. Then everyone just shut their doors because they thought I was diseased, and I got chased out of town again because they thought they had to purge the source of the plague before it spread...

Edwin: Ah, these foolish commoners are so easily fooled by their own superstitions....you don't have the plague, do you?

Brythe: ...no.

Edwin: Good. (Though I might have had a use for a virulent contagion for this Red Wizard infestation currently after me...)

Edwin: Though it does bring up the rather curious question of how it could be, of how you, a human, could have survived 63 years in a dungeon as you so claim without having aged and not be, you know, undead. (and curious I am because I WANT THAT SECRET!)

Brythe: I wish I knew the answer to that.

Edwin: Surely you must be hiding something...

Brythe: Right. I worked incredibly hard to stay immortal while I was *already* in prison, because you know, the food was so wonderful.

Edwin: Sarcasm will not do you well with me. (That's my trademark and I intend to keep it that way.)

Brythe: ...Maybe I could get a tan or something to help this thing. At least the stain would be gone. You know, the stain of my skin. Not the stain of killing innocent people part. The sun doesn't really seem to help my skin, though. It stays..."pasty" no matter what. Maybe if we travel to a more desert environs?...Do you think the girls would like me more if I had tanner skin? ...well that and minus the mass genocide thing?

Edwin: You're diverting the subject of your most precious immortality, and anything else is wasting my time, foolish simian. But this conversation is not over. (Your mysteries SHALL BE MINE!)


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And for our second banter, I present for you Jaheira.

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Jaheira: If you must insist on standing in front of my line of sight, murderer, I must insist upon you keep the hood of your cape up to keep my eyes blocked from such an obstruction of nature.

Brythe: .....<silence>

Jaheira: Let us come to a rather brief understanding. I tolerate your presence in this group for now only for <CHARNAME>'s sake, but I find your very being here at all to be most intolerable and an abomination to nature itself. I would kill you in heartbeat only to bring balance to all the lives you stole, but...

Brythe: ....you're tied to nature?

Jaheira: What?

Brythe: I just don't think I've ever had this kind of close interaction with a druid before. At least, in my travels, I never had one among me. I think I might have run into a cleric of Silvanus at some point or another, but I don't think I've ever actually encountered someone with this much passion about it.

Jaheira: Enough of this idle talk...I shall have no more words with such fil...

Brythe: I admire that kind of conviction. At least nature is something to admire. I don't expect admiration. But I'm also a man of my word.

Jaheira: I hardly see how that could possibly have anything to do with...

Brythe: It has everything to do with that. Don't you see? Blood stains my hands and hate stains my actions. I have rotted for so long against all of what I assume should be nature's laws. I am, as you say, an abomination. Death has always followed me. My voice, my speech, seems to be the only thing still given life in this world. So all I have is my word, now, to give me an explanation of how I'm still here.. And I won't let you take that from me. I made <CHARNAME> a promise, and I will break nature before I break my word again. And if that involves breaking you, guarantee the fact it shall be done without hesitation.

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Talk away on what you'd like to see me post next. :D --Shell

Edited by Shfelliot, 19 December 2007 - 07:14 PM.


#2 My Anata

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Posted 19 December 2007 - 12:37 PM

Wonderfully written banters. I especially love the interaction between Brythe and Edwin. (Comedy AND mystery...) You probably didn't mean for it to be taken this way, but when he wondered whether or not a tan would make him more attractive to the ladies, I completely fell in love. Please post a LT preview when you get the chance! This mod is the most wonderfully original concept I've heard of in a long time and I genuinely hope you intend to see it through to completion (Im sure I was not the only one who got worried when the forum seemed dead).

Nothing is permanent keep in mind on the writing avenue, and I still would like a few people to consult with to help me with staying consistent in the writing, so always looking for volunteers on that avenue.


There were a few grammatical errors, and a few parts where Brythe's dialogue seemed a bit incongruous with the original Bioware style, but this is a common thing with most mods and the difference was not particularly glaring. ^_^ If you are still in need of someone to look over the writing, I'd be happy to help out and elaborate. If not, kudos anyway and know that I'll be one of the first ones in line to pounce on Brythe once he is released. :cheers:

"If you let the fly live, then the spider will die. You cannot save both without one suffering..." ~ Knives (Trigun)


#3 vilkacis

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    Rashemen REPRESENT! Word to yo hamsta!

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Posted 19 December 2007 - 05:47 PM

Hi!

...'sup yo fo' shizzle? :whistling:


Brythe is *not* your atypical serial killer type.

Does that mean he's your typical serial killer type? Because that might be scary. <_<


Brythe: /.../ I think I went through like three villages before I finally got somewhere

"like three villages" pops out as sounding very modern, although that may be your intention; if not, I would suggest simply "three villages" (or possibly "three or four villages") instead.


Edwin: Though it does bring up the rather curious question of how it could be, of how you, a human, could have survived 63 years in a dungeon as you so claim without having aged and not be, you know, undead. (and curious I am because I WANT THAT SECRET!)

I may be a bit rusty, but "you know" doesn't seem like a very Edwin thing to say. He's more likely to say something that doesn't break up the flow of his rant, like maybe "...without having aged and yet remain mortal".

Your Edwin is quite amusing, by the way.


Jaheira: If you must insist on standing in front of my line of sight, murderer, I must insist upon you keep the hood of your cape up to keep my eyes blocked from such an obstruction of nature.

Brythe: .....<silence>

Jaheira: Let us come to a rather brief understanding.

"..." lines don't work well in BG (it'll stick out). I'd suggest removing that line entirely and instead starting Jaheira's second line with something along the lines of "Since you remain silent, I will make this brief" or similar.


I'm not actively looking for errors, those were just things that caught my eye.

#4 Ankhes

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Posted 27 December 2007 - 04:07 PM

I'm so so so glad Brythe is progressing! For the romances I am eagerly waiting for this one will definately be the most unusual.
I like your banters so far and I like your Eddie very much. What I would like to see next if possible is a romantic conflict one. Or if you don't want to be too spoilerish just normal one with Anomen. :)