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[Orthodoxia]

I never really liked how the game handled the loss of a soul so I?ve decided to give a try at a small story using my Bhaalspawn as a guinea pig. Enjoy.

***

Buried Deep Under

- Part 1 -
Visiting Hours

I was floating, suspended in mid air, in a place I have always known. In the rift between two great powers. I float on my back, my eyes looking up, always up, at the great darkness above.

It used to be full of colors and sparkling lights, soothing music and warm breeze. It was a place where my soul once resided. Once, but no more. It was empty now. Empty and black. And cold I suppose, but I?m no longer qualified to say so.

I spared a glance over my shoulder at what lies behind and below me. A river of thick, syrupy blood, all red and golden and black, and I am floating just a hair?s breath away from it. It has many eyes to watch me with, many hands to grab me with and many mouths to swallow me whole.

Not that I particularly care at the moment. In fact, I can?t bring myself to care about anything these days. Not myself, not my friends, not would-be lovers. And in many ways, it rather elevating. And in that retrospect, it is something I shouldn?t get used to.

The taint is loud but I have gotten used to it by now and all the roars and war drums in my head are as soothing as silence. And in this thunderous roar of silence I relax myself into.

Far above me I spotted a spark in the darkness. A growing spark, or an approaching spark? Was there actually something alive in all this death? I wonder?

I straightened and lowered my feet on the taint below - my only support now. It was solid as diamond and I did not sink in. Yet.

As the spark of life approached I could begin to recognize a shape and my eyes widened. A humanoid shape. Someone was in my head. Now there?s a stunning turn of events. Like I didn?t have enough creatures going about my mind already.

I looked down at the taint and one large eye blinked and the mouth to the right of it grinned in an inane smile. It knew as well, and was very happy about it. I focused back on the thing in front of me.

I watched as the robed figure hovered inches above the dark river of my being looking for a place to stand. He didn?t look very thrilled either and that made me wonder what precisely did he expect to see in someone?s head. But when he looked up and saw me standing here his confidence seemed to return to him. He landed on the solid river.

The fool.

You do not land on the taint and walk around like it?s a promenade.

Two steps.

You walk on it like it?s a promenade owned by your worst enemy.

Four steps.

In other words: you don?t!

On his sixth his foot fell into the gaping maw that suddenly opened in his path. He tried to pull out, levitate or disappear from this cursed place but, thing is, if getting away was supposed to be easy I would have been long gone from here.

Many arms sprung up binding the intruder. And not just binding him, sucking him in. Devouring his psyche slowly. He was panicking - in this place of death I could sense it keenly. Taste it even.

I could hear Bhaal?s soothing voice echo across the plane of my being and felt the Slayer rise behind me, its long bony arms wrapping around me.

?Oh, we have visitors daughter dearest. Shall we dress up for the occasion? We?ve been lonely for so long.?

I couldn?t help but snort. Yeah, for about two weeks old man. Two weeks since my soul was taken from us and left me alone with him.

?Two weeks can be a, oh so very long time, daughter dearest. Especially when one is forced to watch the time slip away from a holding cell.?

And you would know much about holding cells, now would you old man? Well, don?t get too excited. Three?s a crowd after all.

?Well now, if three?s a crowd how about we ditch your precious soul and concentrate on ascending instead??

Tempting, but? how about we recover my precious soul and send you into the ditch instead?

His chuckle trailed off into the silence. And silence, but a true one, filled the space. And aside from creature whose mind was being digested now, nothing intruded upon it.

Nothing to say? Good. Now, if you have had your fun, release him.

?Why, sweet daughter dearest? He had intruded.?

The taint got quicker, sucking him in faster.

?He should be dealt with.?

Following the hiss another wave rolled across the plane sucking the intruder further in. Poor thing, he was almost completely covered with golden eyes and hungry mouth. I sighed, feeling as if I was taking care of a small child who didn?t want to brush his teeth before going to bed.

I don?t need another person lodged in my skull. And I?m certain you don?t need one either. Now, be as kind as you are not and release him.

Bhaal, or what small piece of him was in me, laughed but like other sounds in this place, it didn?t bother me anymore. And like many whips at the same time, the taint quickly unwrapped from the unlucky victim and before he disappeared from this place he collapsed on his knees and looked up at me.

Red eyes were filled uncontrollable fear and that fear, in return, fueled hate. What can I say, I seem to have that effect on people. The effect where they all want me dead. But none of my many impending dooms would happen today as my uninvited guest, now free, faded away.

There was promise in his eyes before he left. Promise of retribution. But, once again, I hardly cared. Drow were not big on holding their promises.

Now, I had a different issue to deal with?

***

?Hey, Narra. Are you still sleeping or just meditating??

?my younger sister namely.

?Meditating.? I said still not moving or opening my eyes.

?Come on. Viconia said there was a svirfneblin town nearby. We could get directions we need to that drow outpost there.? Imoen said looking anxious and giddy, and constantly looking around herself. I suppose dealing with whatever was in her head at the moment was making her act so. And there were shadows under her eyes. Not much sleep for you lately, eh, sis?

I shook my head at the thought. It was being ridiculously difficult to keep reminding myself that I?m supposed to worry about her, especially when I no longer had the capacity to worry about myself even.

Again, I sighed, nodded and got up. Adjusting my wings under my cloak and my hood over my ears and face I followed our small group with Viconia at the lead.

Ah well, I suppose one can get stuck in the Underdark and have a helpful walking map at the same time.

Edited by Orthodoxia, 26 May 2007 - 09:47 AM.

[Orthodoxia]

- Part 2 -
How I Remind Myself

***

Killing demons, devils and various other planer things falls under jurisdiction of every self-respecting adventurer. Burying the same planer things under a mountain of rubble equated the same thing; except it was easier, less dangerous and you could let the locals worry about the entombed creature.

The simple fact that seventy percent of the time the damn thing found a way to free itself and lay waste to surrounding lands long after the said adventurers were dead and gone was also essential to know.

Which was something that we had done here on this day. Or night, whichever it was down here. In any case, the svirfneblin were the one would have to deal with the demon and the problems it brings later. To be quite frank, I could have killed it. It wouldn?t be a difficult thing to accomplish but they wanted the thing incapacitated and the tunnel sealed, and what kind of a helpful soul would I be to interfere in their wishes like that?

?None.?

So sad, but I wasn?t one to run from the truth.

I dusted my cloak off glancing at my companions. Viconia was cleaning muck received in battle from herself as well with a look of disgust etched on her face. She didn?t like fighting in close quarters nor did she like having planar intestines sticking to her garments. I can safely say that I agree with her. It is one aspect of killing that didn?t give me pleasure ? everything else was just peachy.

I felt the taint stir in the back of my mind emanating fake emotions, one that were not mine but Bhaal?s. No wonder I enjoyed killing so much. On any other day such sorry state of affairs would make me pause and reconsider my actions considerably, now it only made me shake head and press on.

I glanced at Jaheira who was healing a rather nasty cut on Haer?Dalis? face ? the claw of the thing had got him good and not all of his speed could have prevented the hit, but it was enough to save his life. Now that was one harping half-elf who would not be one happy bunny if she knew what was going on in my head currently.

?Perhaps she would have more understanding if we showed her, daughter dearest.?

What? Irenicus and that drow weren?t enough for you?

?They came in unannounced. Perhaps we should have something like visiting hours?? There was a sniff that reminded me of those pompous nobles in Baldur?s Gate or even Athkatla. For a moment there I wondered, was Bhaal a noble or an ordinary street thug before ascending? He, of course, offered no hint about it and retreated silently to his lounge to observe the events unfolding. He seemed to be getting quite comfortable in there. Just as well, I could use some peace and quiet.

Fortunately, no one was in serious life threatening situation ? save for the fact that we were lost in the Underdark. I caught the sight of purple from the corner of my eye ? not Immy, even if her hair had paled in the months under Irenicus? care and her naturally red coloring had started to show through pink strands ? a ghastly image to behold. No, it was a different kind of purple. A dirty purple.

?What is it, sad face?? I asked pulling the poor wizard to his feet without his permission. Indeed, these days I needed a permission to touch him even if it?s for healing purpose only. I?ll give him this much credit, he didn?t flinch, but he still avoided my eyes. They all did now. ?You don?t look particularly happy to be in one piece and aware of it. Ah, I forget. This is only temporary.?

?I wish you?d stop doing that Narra,? Xan said quietly.

?Doing what exactly? As you can see, I?m very busy doing many things.? I pinned him down with my burning eyes, ?Staying alive is one of them.?

?Enjoying this so much.?

Ah, let?s get straight to the core of the problem.

?Need I remind you that at the moment I can hardly feel the wounds I have sustained, let alone something that actually requires emotional investment. But I guess you don?t believe the word of what I?m saying.?

?And you?ve started to sound like him. Cold. Detached,? he looked up almost as if he was searching for something. When he didn?t find what he was looking for he sighed a doomed sigh.

Now, how did he miss the fact that Irenicus and I shared some rather unfortunate traits? Like the lack of soul for one. He ignored it of course. Tried to deny it. And I didn?t say anything for his mind was close to breaking. Not for his sake, oh no, but for mine. I am in the belly of the Underdark and one broken enchanter is something I don?t need.

My, how I have changed.

?Maybe because I am, cold and detached.?

He didn?t stop me when I turned around and left and I didn?t expect him to. Again, in addition of one very much dead god of death, I had more important things on my mind. I wouldn?t surprised if Bodhi and Irenicus were already well on their way to the surface with all the time I?m wasting down here.

?Let?s inform the svirfneblin of a job well done and be done with it.?

?A cold way to look upon our heroic deed, my raven,? the tiefling commented while getting to his feet.

?I want out, Haer?Dalis. Heroics are something I don?t have time and patience for any longer.? I said and nearly stormed out. Not in anger, as I felt none, but in fruitless effort to get to the surface faster.

***

I took to talk with the leader while Jaheira and Imoen decided to take care of our provisions and, if possible, some maps of the general area. This much stone about me was stifling, like being in a coffin and buried six feet under. I suppose the drow didn?t feel any better under the exposing sky. It wasn?t enough for me to pity them.

?You are welcomed back. We had worried for your safety as though one of our own were in danger,? he said in earnest and I knew that he meant it. The svirfneblin were not malicious creatures. ?I heard the rumblings of your battle, Narra, and I am glad to see you alive. I thank you immeasurably. With the tunnel collapsed, the creature will not be disturbed again. I know it is dead, but who knows what could happen with such things.?

?It will trouble you no more.? Well, not for another two hundred years or so. ?As for your part of deal??

?Yes, and with all haste. I will not delay your own goals a second longer. Please, accept this magical item as partial payment. And also the light gem. With this you will be able to pass the great stairs and enter the lair of Adalon. I wish you well.? The gold and magical bundle was not really necessary but I wasn?t in the mood to say no.

In any case, with the gem in my possession we were one step closer to leaving this underground bog and I was one step closer to peeling Irenicus? fake skin with his own set of knives. I can be creative too.

In the back of my mind the taint raised a glass to that.

***

The good side of the taint ? if it can be referred to such at all ? was that it allowed Imoen to see in the dark as well as any elf would. She must have been tapping into it without knowing that she did and no one dared to make a note about it.

That or, in the light of our greater problems, it simply slipped from their minds. I considered it a blessing in an ugly disguise. Torches down here were not something I wanted.

However, all the walk in the pitch darkness couldn?t prevent the untimely meeting with a local drow patrol. And that would be their untimely meeting with death. I was rather busy with surviving right now.

It was a patrol of six or seven drow males. All armed to their teeth.

?Ah, I suppose this can only end in violence.?

?You suppose correctly, abbil,? Viconia said with an air of boredom. I eyed the Flail of Ages strapped to her belt. Someone missed flogging drow males much?

?You?ll hear no complaints from me.?

They may have said something but I wasn?t paying any attention. Most likely something about seeing surfacers where they?re not supposed to be. Most likely something about dead surfacers where they?re not supposed to be. All that didn?t matter however. What did matter was to have this sorry group silenced. And to have the taint silenced as well. If the drow don?t kill me, the splitting headache will.

Imoen was on to them before any of us but if someone was going to draw the first blood it would be me.

I was ready. To hit them. To hurt them. To blind them. To kill them.

I spread my arms, fingers splayed wide ready to hurl familiar blazing flames at the unsuspecting opponents. An ability of mine I have cultivated for so long. And, an ability I had relied upon for so long.

An ability that now manifested as a weak whiff of smoke.

My fire was gone.

The realization had hit me like the Candlekeep white walls the first time I tried to fly.

Without it, half of my fighting techniques were worthless. Without it, I was weakened.

I don?t know how long I stood there staring in my hands as if simply glaring would bring my lost ability back. I didn?t even register the attack or Imoen screaming to me to get out of the way. Something else I did register.

?Sidestep, make a spin and duck. Bring your arm in a wide arc away from you and up to the assailant??

Even without my conscience consent my body reacted, like it was a second nature of mine ? and perhaps it was ? and I strike?

??to kill!?

***

Edited by Orthodoxia, 28 June 2007 - 05:37 AM.

[Orthodoxia]

Notes: Because I?m not an avid fan of AD&D system I?ve had it, for the lack of better term, butchered in the story. Hardcore fans can just walk away if they don?t like it.

***

- Part 3 -
Gimme This, Gimme That

***

?Where is my FIRE!?!? I roared into the vast emptiness of the ocean of taint. The war drums in distance remanded me of a coming storm. Today it sounded like a distant mocking chortle, coming ever closer the more I was raging.

?Don?t act like a snickering old bastard and tell me what you did with it!!?

?I dislike being accused for crimes I didn?t commit, daughter dearest. Find evidence first, if you?re going to accuse me with such fervor.?

I spun around at the sound of that voice ? a voice that sounded so good in to ears when it didn?t have any right to. A shape separated and formed from the ocean of taint I was standing on, but this time it didn?t take the form of the Slayer. Instead a man dressed in, what appeared to be, leather armor and a hood pulled over his face stood there with all the nonchalance in the world.

Bhaal the Assassin.

?Proof? I nearly got my head cleaved in half today! What more proof do you want!??

?Your stubborn attachment to that ability spelled incompetence in a situation when you couldn?t use it,? he said looking like an incarnation of calmness and rationality. It reminded me too much of Irenicus. And I think he felt it because his demeanor changed instantly to that of a wounded puppy.

?Besides, I helped, did I not??

?I don?t want nor need your help,? I hissed feeling frustrated that I couldn?t lash out at him the way I did at my other opponents. I couldn?t lash out with taint because he was the taint. ?I want something that I can rely on, and that is my fire. Not you!?

He stood silent there for a moment before he started moving around me in a confident arrogant gait. And even if he didn?t have nay facial features to speak of I could feel a bloody smirk blooming on his face.

?I am truly surprised that you?ve noticed the lack of its presence only now. How long has it been? Two weeks? Three??

?But all those times-?

?Residues, channeled by me. You should really show some appreciation for me looking out for you like that.?

?Then can you not continue doing-? she waved her hands around feeling helpless and nearly hating it so at the impossibility of the situation, ?-whatever you were and give it back to me.?

?Your ability to spontaneously create flames from noting comes from your soul.? He let out a short laugh, ?People who said you have a fiery spirit didn?t know the half of it. Without it you?re as cold as a freshly dug-up corpse.?

Like I wasn?t told that before.

?Let?s just say that since you got buried deep under, in a matter of speaking, you drifted away from your former self. I can no longer channel what isn?t there.?

I knew what he really meant and the horrifying realization came crushing down upon me. Even the memory of who I was had started to fade completely. Not trusting my legs even in this world inside my head, I slid down on the black and gold tinted river.

?So I really am forgetting myself.?

?Oh, I wouldn?t put that way daughter dearest,? Bhaal said and I felt his fingers run soothingly through my hair. ?Think of it as outgrowing the frame imposed upon you.?

?Some lines should not be crossed!? I snarled and pulled away from him and back to my feet. Memories or no, soul or no ? I will not outgrow into his puppet the way Sarevok had.

?Don?t think I didn?t feel you prancing around like a butterfly every damn time I killed someone and didn?t feel a thing.?

?Indeed I was. And I?ll be carrying tissues and weeping tears of joy when my little daughter starts killing and loving it.?

Momentarily I was stunned by his reply, and his grin. He changed personalities faster then a pregnant woman had mood-swings. What in the hells happened with that half-sentient monster that was only snarling and growling and clawing around in my head?

A pair of warm hands settled on my shoulders in frighteningly familiar and reassuring manner.

?That snarling monster had all grown up,? he patted me on the head and moved away.

I huffed but there was really nothing I could do about it. I relied on my fire for so long I now felt so helpless without it. It was precisely the kind of trap my old master warned me of. A trap Bhaal had now, if not sprang then certainly and efficiently used for his own purpose.

He knew I had to relay on him now.

I gritted my teeth and looked at the solid river of taint I was sitting on and knew that, if only for a moment, my will falters I?ll be taking a long swim in it.

?To soothe your pain of loss I offer you something, daughter dearest.?

?Should I be worried?? I said without thinking and he let out a snort.

?I am not going to harm you Narra,? he said in a cool voice as his anger swept through the black tide.

Methinks I should definitely be worried. But I was also intrigued at his insistence that he didn?t want me dead, for that is what I gathered from his tone. Then again, I could be wrong. After all, Irenicus didn?t really want to hurt me either ? it was merely a byproduct of his quest. None of that changed my current position though and for now I will have to ?go with the flow?.

For now.

?Very well then. What is this oh-so-generous gift of yours??

In less then an eye blink he was once again kneeling next to me and moved his open hand over my eyes before snapping his fingers. I blinked and opened them waking up from my meditation.

Between my palms was a small flame.

A black, and blue, and white flame.

A freezing cold flame.

?Well, daughter dearest? Does it suffice??

Bloody hell.

***

?This sparrow thinks we may have taken a wrong turn somewhere.?

?Did the smell of rotting fish tell you that,? I kicked one of the many bodies littering the floor around us and it rolled into a channel near the stone pathway, ?or the recent bloodbath.?

?Ew, ew, ew, ew! I never want to see or taste fish again!? I heard Imoen behind me and wondered if it was the reflex she was making comments like that or did she still feel so. I know the smell didn?t bother me, I still liked raw fish. Prepared properly of course. I suppose general food likes and dislikes had nothing to do with the presence or absence of soul.

?I didn?t hear you complain much when we were trapped in the Sahuagin City?

?Well, that was different. We were stuck underwater with them. And they were cleaner. And had sharp teeth,? I heard her mutter under her breath.

?And now we?re stuck underground with similar creatures. Thanks to the wrong turn our guide had so generously led us to.? I glared at Viconia who so expertly led up to the Kuo-Toa inhabitant in these tunnels. While the elimination was quick and bloody it was definitely not needed. Viconia, being a drow, didn?t look away.

?Though it hardly matters. We explored one winding tunnel, a gazillion more remains for us to get lost in,? I said finally dismissing the situation. ?Now, can someone properly read that map and get us to that proper cave??

Viconia shrugged. ?Svirfneblin maps are of better use when one searches ore deposits then for general direction,? the drow said calmly, like we were on a picnic.

In a way, I was grateful to her for her calm. Grateful for not being scared of me the way others were. My companions didn?t comment on my newest ability, if they have even noticed it ? though a swirl of black and blue flames that suck the life out rather then burn the victim to crisp should be hard not to notice. I think Jaheira is just waiting for the right moment to pounce on me with questions? or a dagger.

Viconia didn?t appear to be bothered by this. I?d imagine she had lived and saw worse things then a god-child slowly going mad. Haer?Dalis too, most likely.

Jaheira and Xan though? Honestly, I am still waiting for either a dagger or a Moonblade to lodge itself into my back.

***

?We should be cautious. The svirfneblin storekeeper had recently lost his child in the caves.?

?With the patrols the city no doubt sends it?s easy to guess what faith had befallen the thing.?

?The absolute amount of compassion in your voice never stops to amaze me.?

?Noting keeps the drow knit together like a treat of something.?

?He?s not dead.? I said suddenly interrupting the party?s banter. I was strangely annoyed by them talking about the child in the past tense.

?How would you know if he still lives??

I stopped myself. How did I know it?

The taint was oddly silent. Knowingly silent. I hated when it did that. And after our great argument earlier it seemed determent to keep its many mouth shut.

?I just do,? I said in a tone that marked the end of that or any other conversation. Perhaps we were difficult to spot but we were certainly heard for miles around. ?And we should stop and rest for a while. I would hate to take a wrong turn at the nearest stalagmite because of wary eyes.?

There were no complaints from my party. They were probably too tired to argue. I have to admit, I was noting short of a slave-driver these past couple of days that we have spent running around in circles.

As I prepared for rest I felt the most unusual sensation creep up my neck. It strangely reminded me of the time when Ulraunt bore holes in my back so long ago in Candlekeep.

?They are watching.?

Who?

There was a moment of silence. A moment of pondering.

?Not strong but capable magic. A capable magician.?

Then block it and let me rest.

?No. You will block it, my little shadowdancer.?

And then I felt them all around me, like a curtain that just waiting to be pulled over. And I did. I pulled the dark curtain over hiding myself and the camp from praying eyes.

In the end, it was all too simple.

***

[Orthodoxia]

Author?s Notes: After a long dry period inspiration is slowly and shyly creeping back. Anyway, lots of dialogue from the game but I thought it was necessary at this point.

***

::Part 4::
Creatures of the Dark

***

?You are absolutely sure that this is the right cave?? I asked as we stood in front of yet another cave entrance. The darkness and utter gloom in this one were what it set it apart from other we have visited. Though ?utter dark and gloom? can be a rather relative term here in the Underdark.

?If you ask me that one more time, abbil, I will forget that I am currently being on my best behavior.? Leave it to Viconia to threaten me like that. Ultimately, she was the only one who dared anymore.

?You mean to say that up to now you were on your best behavior?? I smirked though I had the feeling it didn?t reach my eyes. They were always cold these nights. ?Is this the right cave??

?If this is the lair of Adalon then the light gem should allow us to pass through the darkness,? Jaheira remarked leaning against her staff. I?ve got the feeling that the lack of open sky was oppressing for her ? which, in return, would explain her (even more) bitchy behavior as of late.

But she was right. I pulled out the golden glowing gem and if it worked on the same principle as the one in the former Shadow Temple then darkness should part enough for us to pass.

My infravision was ever bad and even the slightest usage would cause me headache beyond all description. Again, as it seems to fix almost anything these days, the taint had the grace to help with that too.

Should I feel guilty if I say that I am very grateful for this little favor as well?

Well-carved stairs appeared from the gloom and we all agreed (much to our common relief) that, yes, this was indeed the right cave.

***

?Welcome, welcome to my lair. I have watched your progress with great interest,? the metallic voice echoed through the monstrous cavern that was the creature?s home.

?I must be a grand sight if I interest the eyes of a Silver Dragon,? I replied with as much sarcasm as I could muster; though antagonizing a powerful beast like that can?t possibly be healthy.

Unlike dragons I have previously killed this one retained her cool head in face of mocking. ?Your ego swells undeservedly. Interest does not mark approval or support. Do not presume to be in my good graces, Narra, I am not as tolerant as others of my kind.?

She rose her great head, her pale eyes watching us puny things ? which in turn we were, ?I am Adalon, the guardian, and I have done my duty as well as I have been able for many a century. I was not the first, but I know the history.?

?And you are truly a magnificent sight, my Lady. I am awed.? Not really.

?Yes, yes, of course, but I have little time for your starry-eyed fawning. Listen well to what I say. My charge is the elven ruins above, an ancient temple that marks the gateway to the Underdark. There are others elsewhere, but this was the first.?

?The first what, great one? My history lessons were vast but didn?t cover much when it came to Drow.?

?The temple marks where the elves of dark hearts first descended, truly separating from Elven kind and becoming Drow,? she explained as if it were the most common knowledge and I should be ashamed for skipping my history lessons. And I didn?t? often.

?The Drow keep the outpost of Ust Natha here as a symbol, one that is fought over regularly, though I have governed the hostilities and seen peace for decades at a time. But there has been a crime here recently, and I can no longer honor my commitment. I will ask your assistance, and in return I will aid you.?

?Speak on. I will listen and see what I can do.?

?Silence!? The dragon boom, her wings flaring. ?I? I will tell you when you may speak. This is a very important matter, and I will not be interrupted.?

?Of course, my Lady Adalon. Narra, do keep quiet.? I narrowed my eyes at Jaheira. And you were waiting the entire day to tell me that.

?The Drow respected the borders of this place for centuries, only venturing out for sport and small skirmishes. That was the balance. The two you seek, this Bodhi and Jon Irenicus, I believe they have made a deal with the Drow for their own safe passage and offered a way to tip the scales against their Elven enemy.?

?It is unfortunate that they did not offend you in some way. We might have been spared the headache of this journey if they had to face an angry Silver.?

?You may ask why I do not extend my influence. I cannot. Irenicus bargained with my most prized possession. He violated my lair and stole from me. They have taken my eggs.? She was incensed. Caught you napping, was what I wanted to say but even in this sad state I remembered the value and need of diplomacy. Judging from the strange silence from the inside of my mind, Bhaal seemed to hold a similar opinion as well.

?Unfortunate. I assume they threaten to destroy them should you venture out??

?I have been informed that to move from my lair is to cause the destruction of my eggs. It is the final straw in a long list of atrocities I have been witness to.?

?To stave off your wrath they have provoked it beyond imagining. These are Impressive risks they are willing to take.?

?Not to mention how utterly base this is.?

?Oh, but our impressive hostess will claim her own, one way or the other. Such is the way of every grand tale.?

?With the smallest exception: normally, it is heroes who risk their neck. In this case, it will be us.?

?You must retrieve them for me,? the dragon spoke interrupting the party?s enticing conversation. ?Do this, and I will reveal a safe escape route to leave the Underdark, one that emerges close to where Irenicus plots his next move,? the Great Silver urged with almost a pleading note to her voice.

?See, bard? I told you it would come to that!?

?The way of the entropy, my dear petrel, the way of the entropy??

Death and destruction, these two topics seemed to be most popular in my company.

?In addition to placing you near your target, I will also make a gift of an item from my hoard. It will be powerful, and worthy of your service.?

Bribery as well.

I shook my head, ?I wonder what it is that you think I can do? You ask me to face an entire Drow city.?

?I realize the danger of the request, but I do not ask you to simply assault the place. No, there is a much more subtle way to succeed. You will take the identity of a group of Drow I dispatched recently, a party from another city destined for Ust Natha.?

She had all this planed out, didn?t she?

?To become such a hated thing? I do not look forward to that,? Jaheira spoke with a frown. And a heaviness.

?An improvement, I think. One that you should relish as a brief glimpse of your betters,? Viconia was quick to jab the druid with the prospect of her skin turning black and her hair white.

?I will address you shortly, Drow. Make no mistake. First, to the rest of you. I will transform you, and you will be able to pass among the Drow with ease. They will not see through the fiction I create. When you arrive at the gate, tell them you are from the city of Ched Nasad, and that you seek sanctuary within Ust Natha.?

?I question the logic of this. I do not know the ways of the drow as well as I should.? I am quite certain that their complex social structure went beyond simple kill, kill and once more, kill.

?Improvise. They are in the turmoil of war at the moment and will overlook much. They will not turn away extra hands.? Her great head turned in the all too familiar direction. ?You might also consult the Drow you travel with. I'm sure she will be a fountain of knowledge. She has an interest in not being discovered, I understand.?

Her large eye narrowed to a needle like points at the black priestess. ?Viconia, is it not? You are a rogue and as much reviled by the Drow and any surface dweller. Still, if you seek redemption and betray me I will end your life.?

?You need not threaten me. Just see to the transformation.?

?You will not be discovered by any other means than your own mistakes, so be careful not to make them.?

Rearing on her hind legs the Great Silver reared on her hind feet and opened her magnificent wings. ?Let the casting begin then.?

?Yes, let it be done.?

Chanting filled the room quickly fallowed by array of silver sparks and equally silver lights. Many grouped in six clusters and descended onto me and my party. In that moment I could feel something akin to a second skin grow and latch on my own. It reminded me of the one time Jaheira used Barkskin one me.

?It is done. You now resemble the denizens of the Drow city, complete with a house insignia that will not draw undue attention. I suggest you act like Drow when speaking to anyone you meet. You will also have knowledge of the language of the Drow, and your speech will be heard as though you have spoken their dark tongue all your life.?

When the spell was cast and done, and I felt the sensation of a second skin settle over me I took a step forward and immediately lost balance, kissing the carved stone floor of the dragon?s chamber below me. Something vital was missing.

I reached for my back.

?My wings!!? I cried frantic. First my soul, then my fire, and now my wings are gone. Taken.

?Do not worry. They are merely hidden. You would not prefer every drow to feel their invisible form at your passing.?

?How can you tell me not to worry when I can?t even stand straight without them!?? They were - are part of me. Not having them was akin to cutting off a tail from a cat. I could not balance without them.

?Need a bit of help daughter dearest??

I heard his sweet voice slither through my head and the sense of balance returned slowly.

No, I don?t need your help to walk on my two feet!

?No??

The strength that held me upright disappeared and again I tripped and fell most ungracefully.

Imoen giggled.

I wanted to kill her. This time not because of that certain urge but because the embarrassment I was feeling was beyond description. I am a monk. My sense of balance is unmatched. Or it?s supposed to be at the very least.

?Still think you don?t need any help??

I grunted something inaudible not willing to admit defeat but not having any other option either. He knew well enough what the snort meant.

?That?s a good girl.?

I felt like a pet who was being complimented for learning a new trick.

You are so enjoying this, aren?t you?

?Ah, that would be telling.?

?The illusion will last as long as it needs to,? the dragon boomed in her melodic and metallic voice above us. ?Trying to leave the city through their main gate to the surface will dispel the magic. You will be on your own against impossible odds.?

Xan winced in the back.

?I am sorry, but I must protect my interests. The only safe escape is through my influence once my eggs are recovered.?

?As long as you honor the deal I will be content,? I said simply still feeling a bit wobbly.

The great dragon relaxed visibly but had still managed to retain some of her haughty attitude. ?I thank you. Remember, you are from the city of Ched Nasad. Take a Drow name as well. Use 'Veldrin,' it is commonly used.?

With what little light there was in the room I looked in the mirror that, by some miracle, was still in one piece.

?My eyes??

?Amber is rare but not uncommon color amongst the drow,? Viconia said turning my face left and right to get a better look. I felt oddly like a slave about to be purchased. Then she nodded. ?I suppose you?ll do. With the eyes of a killer you are certainly better off then the rest,? she finished critically eyeing the rest of the group.

Imoen was oddly silent and Jaheira certainly didn?t appreciate the sentiment. The bard and the enchanter pressed onto, not bicker ? Haer?Dalis never bickered, he mearly pointed out his views ? but certainly have a difference in opinions as to whether our current situation was positive or just slightly negative. My poor boys could only agree on a few things and debates on potential death and destruction were not among them.

***

As we left the lair of the Great Silver in our new skin I was pleased to see that our clothes had changed accordingly. Though I wish the old badger didn?t have to exercise so much in spider motif. I hate those creepy-crawlers. Unfortunately, the Underdark was filled to the brim with them.

Overused spider motif aside we didn?t stand out in appearance though I certainly had some justified worries when it came down to attitude. Viconia had the grace to remind me of some of finer aspects of Drow society.

This was the second time in my life I was being taught social behavior. Though the amount of blood in Gorion?s lessons was considerably less.

?Stand strong, Narra. The Drow cower before no one, least of all their own. Yours is the power here. Females are the dominant leaders. Act accordingly.?

Oh, joy.

?Do you approve of such power, daughter dearest??

You were with me since the day I was born. You tell me.

?Daughter dearest, you?re no fun,? the taint sulked in the most childish way possible and I had no choice but to imagine it pouting in the dark corner. We were about to enter a Drow city and I am absolutely certain that the said pouting child in the corner of my mind would find ample opportunity to amuse himself.

The gleeful feeling in the pit of my stomach told me how right I am.

?Do you think you will manage this Veldrin?? Viconia stressed my new name jolting me from my thoughts. I glanced at her with my still burning eyes.

?Are you asking me if I can be a cruel, coldhearted bitch??

I suppose we?ll find out soon enough.

My only real concern ? besides being discovered in the city of a thousand drow ? was that I would find amusement alongside of him as well. I know Bhaal would love nothing more and would have nothing less.

I turned to the pair of male drow who suddenly appeared in the archway. Yes, it was time to act.

And with that, my weapon slashed.

***

[Orthodoxia]

***

::Part 5::
So Cold

***

One great mystery was finally revealed.

Soft beds don?t help with nightmares. In fact, it?s safe to say that they encourage them. And you, old man, are not helpful in the matter either.

?Apologies, daughter dearest,? he murmured and he wasn?t sorry at the least, ?but our taste in dreams differs greatly. What I find pleasant, you surely would not.?

Then don?t act helpful by shoving your dreams into my head.

?We share the space, daughter dearest.?

What a sad state of affairs it is.

Though fresh air was in short supply when you?re underground I was still grateful that my room had a balcony attached to it. I couldn?t look at the sky to relax but looking down upon the city would do just the same. This was the first time ever I?ve seen a city so quiet. It was not bustling with life instead, it was teeming with death. Quirt appropriate actually, considering it?s the drow I?m talking about here.

My opinion on the city?

It was a cave. Granted, a big, carved cave, but a cave nonetheless. And no, I wasn?t impressed. Not by what I saw with my eyes at least, but what my tainted senses detected I was in awe.

A place where I can kill freely ?till I drop.

?Sweet.?

?But there is more to that daughter dearest,? he whispered in my mind. ?Do not turn into one of your mindless siblings but watch and learn. Let me take you behind the scenes of the great game the drow play. For those who know how to play them and play them well they are quite harmless I assure you.?

I admit, I was curious. Before I would have thought of them as empty yes, but I would never think of their games as harmless. Was I finally going crazy? Stuck in a drow city with a dead god in my head ? why, I must be.

?Not crazy daughter dearest, merely growing up.?

Growing up? Into what?

?Into a fine young Lady of Murder.?

That is not going to happen.

?Would you prefer me to rise up again??

Since that would require my untimely death, so no.

There was something very much akin to laughter in my head.

?We shall see for there is time for that. But for now, daughter dearest, look.?

And I saw. And for the first time since the loss of my soul I felt something close to emotion.

?Do you see, daughter dearest??

Oh hells, did I see.

From murder to intention behind it.

From intention to plans pushing it to the surface.

And from planes to murder orchestrating it all ? be it the one holding the dagger or the one silently sitting in the shadow.

The Path of Murder was clear like a white paved road in the sunshine. And it was all around me, lightening up the dark city. Here, it seemed, everyone killed someone.

It was from the murdered that it branched further. To be able to see reasons and decisions and plots that made people walk the path of murder was fascinating. Frightening too, as it reminded me how far I have gone but fascinating none the less.

No wonder Bhaal foresaw his own death.

?Ah, but it was not the permanent death and I yet live.?

Define ?live?.

But he retreated to the corners of my mind and instantly I knew why. I heard the door open and a moment later Viconia joined me on the balcony.

?What do you make of your first experience among the drow, abbil??

?I though you said drow cities were supposed to be pictures of dark beauty, not a heap of washed-out stone.?

The fury of Viconia?s mighty glare washed over me. ?This is a mere outpost abbil, and one of the oldest drow settlements in our history.?

?So, what you?re saying is that your crafting skill wasn?t refined enough back in the day when it was built.?

Rather, she changed the topic.

?The Handmaiden is expecting us. I can only assume it will have something to do with the missing first daughter of the ruling house.?

?Another kitten in need of rescue from the tree.?

?Only if you consider a ruthless, backstabbing bitch a kitten and an Mind Flayers a tree.?

?Well, at least we won?t be bored while we?re stranded here.? I felt the taint soar in the empty place which my soul used to occupy.

No, not bored at all.

?Daughter???

It?s open season on anything that moves!

***

We have arrived at the city gates just in time to witness a little drama playing out. Or was it common occurrence down here. The Handmaiden had the male who was ordered to ?baby-sit? us in full fire.

?-the Matron Mother expects even better from you. Report to the temple before you leave the city.?

Her hand was itching to get her whip but for some reason it didn?t. As far as I knew there was noting against bluntly killing or torturing males in the plane view of the streets among the drow.

?As?as you wish, Handmaiden,? the male replied, clearly knew what was in store for him.

Watching the scene I almost felt that old familiar twinge of compassion but then I remembered that it was nothing more then my memory of how I used to be before I got broken.

?I?ll see you outside the city then,? I said as he passed me.

The look he sent me spoke anger and hate of unimaginable volume.

And I could pinpoint at least two glares burning holes through my skull.

?What? I could hardly wish him good luck.?

?Perhaps remaining silent would have been the best option,? was Jaheira?s particularly acidic response. If she would only set it loose on the surrounding drow our guise would be impervious.

?You are her mate, Xan, why don?t you talk some sense into her?? She snapped turning her glare to another direction ? and to another person.

?What can I say that she would listen,? he replied silently.

And that just reminded me of the unsaid words and the unfinished business left between us.

***

The day was long enough with saving an ungrateful commanding wanna-be-bitch, and it would be longer still. I looked at Xan whose appearance became even more despondent since we came to Underdark. And I know he blames me for it.

?We need to talk Xan,? I said approaching him.

He didn?t like it I could tell, but he fallowed me to the back of the inn, near the Arena cage. The creatures in it were busy with ripping lumps of flesh from a sad excuse of a drow warrior who dared to step in it. Xan looked entirely uncomfortable.

?About us,? I clarified. He flinched.

He started to say something but I cut him off.

?I know and I understand. I am not trying to make you change your mind.?

Some of his tension went away. Did he even know how easy he was to read?

?What about then??

?Do you honestly want Jaheira to harp you about it?? I asked reminding him of the Harper in our group who just so happened to firmly believe in strength of a relationship. Ours never did progress far but Jaheira somehow imagined that being in a relationship with my own kind would do wonders ? for both of us. For someone as realistic as the druidess she really had some strange notions. And by the look on his face, I don?t think he did.

?They don?t need to know Xan. For now they can believe that the taint is in the way,? that much is painfully obvious, ?and after Irenicus is dead and desist we can go each his own way.?

?And even if you defeat him, will you return to what you once were? You have changed too much.?

Why did he have to bring that subject again? Didn?t he notice that ever since the Dungeon I was a different person? Even dormant, the taint had always been part of who I am.

?So if Irenicus doesn?t kill me the taint will. And if, by some miracle I do survive I will be branded a monster for the rest of my life.?

?Those are your words Narra. I didn?t say them.?

?It?s what you didn?t say that counts. Even so Xan, since Candlekeep I have done nothing but survive and that is how I intend to continue.?

?Even if you step over corpses? Your friend?s corpses?? Whether it was anger or fear in his voice I couldn?t tell. It didn?t matter. He made sure it nothing he said would matter to me anymore.

?Your words, not mine.?

His voice was impossibly quiet.

?And what of your siblings??

Ah. Of course. I should have known that he had a backup plan for my demise. In his eyes I could never survive. I would either die or become a monster. For that single moment there I was glad I didn?t have the soul for that statement and the meaning behind it hurt more than months I?ve spent on Irenicus? operating table.

He agreed and it was as if we didn?t have anything else to say to each other.

He left.

I stood and watched as the opponents in the cage killed each other.

?What say you about the Arena, daughter dearest??

***