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[Riviera]

This is actually inspired by a conversation I had with Noccy a few months back, in which I got a sugar-high and made up a random conversation between a crazy person and a sane one about milk being cowtit-water and such. It seems that particular quote is now more popular than I am. Noccy also owes me royalties, hehe. In any case, take a look, see what you think

Lorean is inspired by the Malkavians of Vampire: The Masquerade, in case anyone is wondering. There will also be random moments when I pull inspiration from such things as Invader ZIM and JTHM (in spirit if not in actual quotes or anything like that).

And Noctalys did this amazing picture



LOOKIE AIN'T IT COOL, GO THROW WORDS OF HAPPYNESS AT MISS NOCCY FOR SHE IS MIGHTYFINE ARTIST

A day in the life of Lorean, or, why Riviera should not be allowed to have sugar

Chapter 1, the day has started

Mellani sighed and looked at the clock on the kitchen wall, as she always did this time of the day. It was nearly 10 am, and as usual, Lorean had not come downstairs. It was hard to say if the girl slept in late simply because she was so active that she wore herself out, or if she did so as a form of defiance, since she did tend towards the latter in many matters. Ever since Mellani had been put in charge of the teenaged Lorean, life had become considerably more interesting, for Lorean was an.. interesting soul, at even the best of times.

After tapping her foot for a little while against the table and occupying her mind with the day's Sudoku puzzle, she looked at the clock again. It was now 10:30, and she supposed she had better go find Lorean, or she was likely to sleep until noon. She very much hoped that she'd actually slept in her bed this time. She got up, neatly folding the puzzle up and putting it away, and climbed up the stairs to Lorean's room on the second floor, quietly sliding the door open. She was not surprised at all when she found the room empty, and immediately headed to the bathroom across the hallway, which she opened with a bit less care. A young girl with long, jet-black hair and lightly tanned skin was curled up like an oversized kitten on the toilet, her blue cotton nightgown draping over it like a curtain. Her soft, steady breathing did not falter in the slightest, and she seemed completely oblivious to the fact that she was not the sole occupant of the bathroom anymore, wrapped in dreams as she was. Mellani sighed. Lorean was trying at the best of times, but when she was asleep it was almost possible to imagine her to be a serene angel. The angel needed to awaken and remove herself from the toilet, however, so she gently shook her by the shoulder.

Lorean fell off the toilet with a boom, startling Mellani, and scrambled across the bathroom, neatly hopping into the tub and peering around the shower curtain, which she had tugged around herself as a makeshift shield. Mellani sighed. "Lorean, why didn't you sleep in your bed? It would be much more comfortable than the top of the toilet seat."

Lorean grimaced, "So the gaping maw of that demon-thing may swallow me in my sleep? I don't think so. You were there, too! You saw it try!"

Mellani groaned, "Lorrie, I didn't realize the mattress was that old.. that it would collapse like that. The bed did not try to eat you, I swear it."

"Yeah, you say that now! You probably want it to eat me so you can.. make a chair from my bones or something! Not gonna happen! You'll have to make that chair out of small woodland beasts or ceramic bones or something!" Lorean stuck her tongue out.

"Lorrie, if I wanted to make a chair from your bones, I would just brain you on the head now and have done with it." Mellani rolled her eyes. "Now, lets go. You have to get dressed so we can go downstairs and eat breakfast."

Lorean brightened a bit at the mention of breakfast. "What are we eating?"

Mellani replied, "Eggs and toast. We're having milk today, too."

Lorean immediately made a face so sour that it would have put a lemon to shame, "Ugh! I don't want any cow-tit water!"

Mellani sighed, sometimes she wondered why she bothered. "Lorrie, I'll put chocolate in it if you'll drink it that way."

Lorean sulked, "Well.. okay.. but nothing hides the titty taste. Nothing. Did they at least wash that cow boob before they got the stuff?"

"I don't know, Lorrie. I just bought it at the grocery store, I didn't watch them milk the cow. Now come on, go to your room and put some clothes on, I'll start cooking our food." Mellani turned to leave, but Lorean piped up, "Do I have to wear that horrible torture device again?"

Mellani looked back at Lorean, where she still resided behind her shower-curtain-shield, although now she was only partly behind it. "Torture device? Oh, you mean your bra. Yes, you do. It's the proper thing to do, Lorrie. You know that."

Lorean edged out from behind the shower curtain, and crossed her arms. "If I have to keep wearing that thing, my boobs will rebel and leave me, you know."

Mellani stifled a giggle, "Lorrie, that's not even possible and you know it."

Lorean looked pointedly at Mellani's A-cup bosom, "Well, it happened to you."

Mellani blushed and stomped her foot, "We'll have none of that. Now go get dressed. In normal clothing. Bra too." She turned around and headed back down to the kitchen to start cooking, hoping against hope that Lorean really would get dressed, and in a normal fashion. The day before she'd 'dressed' in a pillow case that she'd conveniently made holes in. She had, during the first few months of her time with Lorean, supervised the girl at all times to make sure she did things as she was supposed to, but this had proven entirely fruitless, as Lorean was a very sneaky girl and found ways to work her own will in some fashion or another.

Edited by Riviera, 29 June 2007 - 10:56 PM.

[Riviera]

Chapter 2, eating and what foods are made of

As Mellani walked down the stairs, she carefully listened, just in case Lorean decided to pull a fast one and use the shower curtain for purposes not intended by the manufacturer. She heard the girl walk out of the bathroom and go into her room, though, which was a step in the right direction, at least. Once back inside the kitchen, she puttered about, gathering the materials she needed for their meal, and started her task. She'd just finished putting the bread in the toaster and had gotten the eggs out when Lorean flounced into the room.

Mellani heaved a sigh of relief when she saw that Lorean at least appeared to be normally dressed. Well, normally for her. She was attired in an off-the-shoulder purple top which was emblazoned with the words, "Successfully Aged Human Larva", a pair of very faded jeans that had so many rips and patches on them that it was hard to tell if any of the material was actual jean, and a pair of pink socks with yellow smiley faces on them. Anticipating some off-the-wall comment, Mellani tensed, but Lorean merely walked across the room to pick up the previously discarded Sudoku puzzle. She deliberated over it for several moments, then looked over at Mellani. "You're doing it all wrong," she stated simply.

Mellani blinked, "How so? It is half done and I know I'm doing it right."

Lorean shook her head. "Only if you really want to be telling anyone who reads this that the red is crunchy and you like to bang holes in walls with your left toe."

Mellani just stared at her for a few moments. Honestly, she sometimes wondered if Lorean had an alien chip in her head that beamed thought waves into her mind that just happened to sound like english when spoken aloud. "Dare I ask what you mean by that?"

Lorean snorted, "It's obvious. Don't think I can't read your weird code-language." She then glanced over at the eggs. "At least cook the dead bird babies. Uncooked bird babies are almost as bad as that.. meatstuff you tried to pass off the other day."

Mellani stared, "You didn't eat raw eggs, did you? God, Lorean, you are something else. I was actually just waiting for you to come down and tell me how you wanted your eggs cooked. Also.. what meatstuff? You'll have to clarify."

"That.. stuff. What did you call it? Spam. The stuff is unnatural and an abomination. I don't care how you make my dead bird babies as long as you put a lot of ketchup on them. Oh, and if there is no strawberry jelly left for my toast.. there shall be suffering the likes of which has not been seen for centuries." Lorean proclaimed.

Mellani sighed. "Spam is not an abomination.. it is just lunchmeat," she started making Lorrie's eggs scrambled, since the last time, when she'd served them to her sunny-side up, there had been many declarations as to the unnatural look of the stuff, and how the yolks looked like.. well, she didn't want to remember what she'd said the yolks looked like at the moment. "Really, I don't know why you need strawberry jelly every day on your toast. We have apple, apricot, cranberry, even grape! Don't you want something different every so often?"

Lorean shook her head, "Strawberry is the only kind that brings peace to the beast which resides in my abdomen. You also realize that lunchmeat is just another word for a substance which has no name. Some things are just too horrible to be named."

Mellani rolled her eyes, "Lorrie, lunchmeat is a name. True, it's an all-purpose name, but.." the toaster dinged and sent up its offering of lightly charred bread, so she covered her slice in butter, making sure to only put strawberry jelly on Lorean's, and deposited them on their respective plates. The eggs were also done, so she carefully slid them out of the pan onto Lorean's plate, and started making her own omelet. She sliced up a hot dog, then a green pepper, and added them both to the pan, making sure to sprinkle a little olive oil and swiss cheese in as well. Through all of this, she watched as Lorean tended to her own food, and winced to herself as the girl proceeded to dump what looked like a full cup of ketchup onto her eggs. After her omelet was done, she also set to it, and they ate in silence for a while.

Mellani finally spoke up, "Lorrie, what do you think about taking a walk after we finish eating? The sunshine and fresh air could do both of us a lot of good."

Lorean paused, a bite of egg halfway to her mouth, "And expose myself to the burning globe of suffering out there that roasted my tender flesh to a rosy red hue just last week? It's likely in cahoots with the bed-thing upstairs.. it will cook me and the bed-thing will eat me."

"We won't be out long, so it may not even realize you are there before we are back here again." Mellani crossed her fingers under the table, hoping Lorean would buy this.

Lorean considered this for several moments. "If it does discover me, or I find out this is another scheme of yours to get me eaten, I will have my sweet vengeance. Oh, such vengeance will I have. The sky will weep, the stars will fall, and the burning orb of pain shall drop itself into the ocean to avoid the sight of it."

"I really should have made you join a drama club.. but, in any case, I'll just wash the dishes real quick and we can be off. Get your sneakers on. Why don't you wear the blue ones today? They would look nice with your outfit.." she glanced over it, wincing as she always did at the shirt, then collected both of their dishes, carrying them to the sink to get them washed. Lorean followed her, ignoring the suggestion she'd given, and merely watched as Mellani started to run hot water and clean the plates and forks. She only spoke up when Mellani reached for the lemon-scented dishsoap.

"I don't know why you use that. It gives people the impression that you were marinated inside of an enormous lemon for a few days.. and then drained of blood, with the way it makes your fingers so wrinkled. I'd hardly think you'd want people to think a citrus obsessed vampire just had its way with you." Lorean commented.

Mellani snorted, "Well, the dishes have to be cleaned somehow. When I used the berry scented one you just griped that you thought it smelled like someone had just ate a metric ton of berries and then had a very large bowel movement right into the sink. It's either one or the other, kid. And go put your shoes on."

It took several attempts, but she did finally convince Lorean that it would be in her best interest to put her sneakers on. After all, if she wore them, the spitefully hot sidewalk would not be able to join the sun in its attempt to make her into a tasty little snack for whatever piece of furniture that may have its cushiony heart set on eating her this week.

[Riviera]

Chapter 3, the great outdoors, and 'other people', part 1

After Mellani pulled her own sneakers on, The Great Walk began. She planned for them to walk around the block once, stopping in on the local bookstore, and then stopping in the local 7-11 for a slushie. She very much hoped that they had blue ones, for both her and Lorean's sake.

Despite Lorean's earlier complaints, the girl did seem to enjoy the walk, even though she did occasionally look up in the sun's general direction and either give it a dark look, or shake her fist at it. The birds chirped, the sun was warm on her skin, and the air was crisp and clean. Mellani smiled. All she needed was to find a good book at the store, and a hopefully uneventful walk, and the day would have taken a very pleasant turn indeed.

They stopped at one point when Lorean spied an ant pile that she deemed to be too much in her way for her to walk around (it was beside the sidewalk, which wouldn't be a problem but Lorean had spontaneously decided that sidewalks were for other people right before the walk started). Naturally, the ant pile did not last long after she made this decision, and soon after the small pile of sand was no more, and the sidewalk was littered with the remains of the dead and dying of the ant colony. Mellani rolled her eyes, but let it slide. She didn't like ants that much either, after all.

Almost immediately after, she noticed their neighbor's son, Lewis, walking down the sidewalk in their direction. He was about Lorean's age, she was 16 and he was 18, but they didn't see each other much, mostly because Lorean didn't go to the local high school. She also tended to only leave the house when either strongly urged to by Mellani, or when some strange flight of fancy made her wander to some destination or another for extended bits of time. Thusly what little he knew of her had circulated to him through local gossip and what little he'd seen of her strange antics.. so while he gave Mellani a friendly wave, he only afforded Lorean a stare.

Lorean stared back for a moment, then when he was about a foot away from them, screeched, "Stop staring! I won't have sex with you!"

Lewis blushed and tried to hurry past them, but managed to bump into Lorean. The force of the collision was just enough that it knocked her off balance, sending her on a rather short trip to the sidewalk. She landed on her knees, and was just lucky enough that one of her knees hit a small rock that was laying there, splitting it open. Lorean grimaced when she saw the blood, and both Mellani and Lewis were frozen in place, both by the suddenness of it all and the residual embarrassment of the earlier exclamation.

Mellani started digging through her purse to find a bit of the kleenex she always carried with her, and while she did so, Lewis leaned close and whispered, "Does she.. have mental problems? Is she always like that?"

Mellani granted him a swift look of faint annoyance, "That's just the way she is."

She knelt down and dabbed the small cut on Lorean's knee, for a moment wondering at the picture they must have made. Her, a tall woman, almost 30 years old, with short, light brown hair, wearing a white t-shirt, brown slacks and white tennis shoes, and looking about as average as a woman can look, and Lorean, who only looked average if one did not look too closely. If they did, it would not take long at all to see the glint of eccentricity in those clear grey eyes of hers.. although she usually made them aware of that aspect of herself long before they got a good look at her eyes.
While she was thinking about all of this, with Lewis still watching, Lorean started muttering, "My blood cells.. they scream and fly to freedom!" which earned her another weird look from Lewis, and a small smile from Mellani. After the wound had been successfully bandaged (denying her blood from tasting the sweet air of liberation in the process), Mellani helped Lorean up. Lewis immediately started apologizing for bumping into her, but Lorean just glared at him.

"When the shadows of damnation visit me this night, I shall inform them of you.. and they shall dance upon your bedsheets whilst singing the requiem of darkness and death. This I promise you." she informed him. He stared at her a moment, obviously unsure of what to say, and eventually just sputtered, "Uhhh.. okay." before walking off, occasionally looking back at them as he went.

"Yeah! You go back to the stygian haunts which spawned you!" Lorean yelled at his back, waving a fist as she did so.

"Lorrie, let's get going. The bookstore managed to get a copy of that book you wanted to read.. what was it called.. "The Zombie Survival Guide," I think it was." Mellani said, hoping that she could distract Lorean with something that may calm her down somewhat.

Lorean perked up, "Oh, really?? Now I shall be prepared when the army of the damned arrives.." She grinned to herself.

Well, Mellani thought, at least we're almost there. Plus maybe I can get a book of poetry at the same time.. I finished my last one some time ago.