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"Stonefire Rising" comments/criticism thread


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#1 Sir Kalthorine

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Posted 29 March 2005 - 08:25 AM

This thread is for comments and criticism of the unfinished novel I have recently posted in the "Chrysta's first appearance: Stonefire Rising" thread. If you haven't read that first... what are you doing here? :)

The novel itself is HERE

To repeat my comments from the novel thread itself, my main reason for posting it was just to satisfy the curiosity of the few people who have PM'd me to ask where I got the idea of Chrysta from. However, if anyone chooses to comment on the novel to this point then I want to stress that I am not fishing for false praise here, and would rather my efforts be savaged in a constructive way than praised without cause. I would like to finish the novel, and if no one tells me where I am going wrong at the moment I can't improve, can I?

One thing I will say is that the novel had not progressed far enough for the strong female characters to make an appearance and/or make their presences felt, just in case it appears I have been rather mysoginistic in my writing :blush:

So please feel free to say things as you see them without fear of recriminations or reprisals :D

Edited by Sir Kalthorine, 29 March 2005 - 10:05 AM.

KACH_TS.jpg Chrysta... could helping her to uncover her past threaten your own future?

"Pity the land in need of Heroes."- Bertolt Brecht
"A little madness, now and then, is relished by the wisest men." - Willy Wonka


#2 Togashi Renshi

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Posted 29 March 2005 - 12:39 PM

From my "editor-point-of-view":

Wow. This is actually quite good. It has the potential to be a rather splendid novel, seriously.

From my Ninja-Gnome/Normal Self point of view:

WOW!! COOOOOOL!

#3 Hendryk

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Posted 29 March 2005 - 08:45 PM

You are certainly off to a good start here although I am not, generally speaking, a fan of End-of-the-World-as-We-Know-It scenarios. Can't help but recall the Pythons' blancmanges: They Mean to Win Wimbledon!

Anyhow, being the short-sighted bottom feeder that I am, may I suggest that it ought to occur to someone that Chrysta *has* to accompany the two paladins to Mamnoth? Knowing, as she does, about the gem and knowing how very regretable it would be if she blabbed indiscriminately, she can really only be permitted to remain alive in the company of those to whom she can speak freely without breaching security. She cannot even be taken back to the company's base. What if she spoke, in all innocence, of unmentionable matters to a guard? Or even had a revealing nightmare? Far, far too risky, IMHO.

Edited by Hendryk, 29 March 2005 - 08:52 PM.

Ready. Fire. Aim.

#4 Sir Kalthorine

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Posted 04 May 2005 - 04:54 AM

Just a quick "thank you" to all who sent encouraging PMs telling me I should continue with the novel, and for the excellent constructive criticism some of you provided. I just wanted you all to know that I have every intention of continuing with the story - but that I intend on finishing the Chrysta mod first, so it looks like my future as a writer is delayed until 2006!

Thanks team. Your kind words have made an old paladin very happy. :D :thumb:

KACH_TS.jpg Chrysta... could helping her to uncover her past threaten your own future?

"Pity the land in need of Heroes."- Bertolt Brecht
"A little madness, now and then, is relished by the wisest men." - Willy Wonka