O UU, Buffy quotes now?!?! How much can one girl take *siggghhhh*
Once More with Halflings!!!Ok, obviously I chose mazzy to make the title work...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Mazzy walked into the Turnip Box, and the smell distracted her for a few seconds. If she ever came into some gold, she could finally rent a new headquarters for the gang, and they wouldn't have to endure the awful stench of Jan's family buisness...alas, being the Vampire Slayer didn't put wealth into one's pockets. She firmly wrenched her mind back into what was important...that mind bending event at the graveyard district last night.
"Urm....so, urm, guys? Did anyone last night,urm...burst into song?" asked Mazzy, anxiously twisting her hands behind her and looking at the floor.
"Merciful Cthulhu!" exclaimed Valygar, her faithful squire.
"We thought it was just us!" said Aerie, her face relaxing.
"We were just talking and all of a sudden..." said Keldorn.
"It was like we were in a musical!" said Mazzy, looking up and sharing Aerie's expression of relief.
"I did a whole aria about gathering spell components! (I still can't believe I sang a song about the joys of collecting bat guano!)" said Edwina.
"And it was very,very bad at the Jansen residence last night. Mother Jansen started off with 'Turnips are a girl's best friend', but it was cousin Beloo that really made me claw my eyes. It was bad enough hearing Mom mutilate the song like that, but seeing cousin Beloo with a strapless passionate pink cocktail dress, dancing and flirting, with about a hundredsweight of turnip jewelry around his wrists and neck, and stretching his earlobes in a most painful way...and of course his pink matching stockings, well, due to the normally stumpy gnomish legs, wads and rolls of pink fishnet material clumped at the bottom of his feet, and got caught on the 7 inch stiletto heeled pink pumps he was wearing...fortunately he tripped while Mom was singing...
A kiss on the hand may be quite continental
but turnips are a girl's best friend.
A kiss may be grand but it won't spice up a bento
at your humble flat, or for snacking at the automat.
and knocked himself out." said Jan with a shudder.
"Anyhu,"said Keldorn quickly before Jan started up another story, along that route lay madness,"I was arguing with Maria, and I started singing...
How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!
she was most displeased, and then the armored knight came thru the door, clapping two coconut half shells together...it was most disturbing."
"Is Maria ok?" asked Aerie in concern.
"Oh thankfully I was able grab a potato, and shove it into the knight's mouth to gag him before he really got into the song 'We're knights of the Oblong Table, we dance when we are able...' and finsh my own song, which happy has a sweet and complimentary ending. She understood that the song, which starts out not being nice was actually a wonderfully sweet and endearing song. It was still very disturbing." said Keldorn in relief.
"That's been my whole outlook on the situation. Its all very disturbing, and quite un-natural. We should look into it." said Mazzy.
"With the books." said Aerie decisively.
"Yes, of course the books.(that is of course if these simians have evolved enough to learn to read.)" said Edwina.
"Urm, do we have any books on this?" asked Mazzy.
"We just have to think logally about this, not every problem can be solved by magic. We just have to break down the problems, and try to think..."said Valygar before he was interrupted.
(Singing)
Jan:
I've got a theory,
That it's a demon,
A dancing demon!
Eeech, something isn't right there!
Aerie:
I've got a theory
Some mage is dreamin'
And we're all stuck inside
His wacky Broadway nightmare!
"Like with Kalah!!! You remember, right?" quipped Aerie before the next verse could begin.
Valygar:
I've got a theory
We should work this out.
Aerie, Edwina, Keldorn, Valygar:
It's getting eerie
What's this cheery singing all about?
"Bah! Must I carry this verse all by myself? Harmony, and timing Keldorn and Valygar! (Now I am sounding like the hateful music teacher at Dark Mage University, the one I tested my Gate spell on...his last screams were gratifyingly out of pitch.)" mused Edwina.
Valygar:
It could be witches!
Some evil witches!
Aerie, and Edwina looked at Valygar, Aerie was tapping her foot, and Edwina had a persistant tick on her face.
Valygar:
Which is ridiculous,
'Cause witches, they're my friends,
And they helped me defeat Lavok in the planar sphere
And Avariel power and I'll be over here.
Edwina:
I've got a theory
It could be Jansens!
Everyone's face clears at this verse, their eyes looking far away in thought, except for Jan, of course.
Edwina:
Jansens aren't as harmless
Like everybody supposes!
They got them stumpy legs
And puffy potato noses!
And what's with all the turnips?
Why do they eat so much
root vegetables, anyway?
Jansens, Jansens,
It must be Jansens!!!
As Jan's hand moves to the very large and complex crossbow holstered on his belt, Edwina reconsiders.
Edwina:
Or it could be griffins.
Jan immediately nodds in agreement.
Aerie:
I've got a theory
We should work this fast
Aerie and Jan:
Because clearly
Keldorn's voice just isn't going to last.
Mazzy:
I've got a theory
It doesn't matter ...
Mazzy:
What can't we face if we're together?
What's in this place that we can't weather?
"Except the smell of turnips everywhere!" mutters Mazzy, Edwina, Keldorn, Valygar and Aerie, unaware that they were saying the same thing under their breath at the same time.
Mazzy:
Throne of Bhaal? We've all been there
The same old trips, why should we care
Mazzy, Aerie, Edwina, Valygar, Keldorn and Jan:
What can't we do if we get in it?
We'll work it through within a minute
We have to try
We'll pay the price
It's do or die!
Mazzy
Hey, we've been to Hell twice!
Mazzy, Aerie, Edwina, Valygar, Keldorn and Jan:
What can't we face if we're together?
What's in this place that we can't weather?
What can't we face?
If we're together
There's nothing we can't face . . .
Edwina:
Except for Jansens...
Meanwhile, outside the Turnip Box...
A jovial Korgan is holding up a large blue and yellow polyester looking shortsleeve shirt, which looks surprisingly clean.
Korgan:
They got the bloodstain out!
The townspeople of Athlanka are doing a highstepping dance routine, complete with high kicks and gracefull piroettes, by both Commoner1 and Commoner2, both male and female versions, and they're singing...
Commoner1 and Commoner2, male and female:
They got the bloodstain out!
And as the singing and dancing concludes, Korgan turns over his shirt, and you can read the logo on the back.
"Amnish DwarfBowling Legue, Player of the Year."
They call me....
Darth...
Darth Gizka...
Sounds great! I'll take one ticket, please! It's bound to be good if UUs orchestrating the songs...
!
