22 replies to this topic

[Clarion]

ANDANTE:  Oh, I simply knew them before they were Shadow Thieves.  I have known them long enough to air their dirty diapers, so to speak.  Nothing recent, but embarrassing enough for men of pride that they would rather not try to clean up the trouble they know I can and will make if they try to kill me.  Thankfully, Aran and Renal are men of class.  We can converse cordially enough without the threats.

Step back, Xarana.  You offend my nose, and now I believe a fireball would aggravate that beyond repair.  Heat is best not applied to foul odors.  Something I *just* recently learned from Clarion's feeble attempts at doing laundary.

CLARION:  Now that was going too far.  *casts Icelance*  

*Wild Surge: Anti-magic Shell*

CLARION:  Well, that might be the most useful wild surge yet, from me.  Still, I would appreciate you keeping my secrets, well, secret.  Pretending embarrassment is tiring.  I should change your background, have some ethics drilled into your ass.  Then you could be just like me.  Same bumbling idiot.  Start behaving or I'll take all your stats down to 3 and throw you in the scrap bin.  You know I wouldn't shed a tear over it.

ANDANTE:  (trying to cast something, anything)  To the Abyss with you, Clarion.  I shall kill Imoen if you persist in trying to make me befriend her.

CLARION:  Shut up.  I'm trying to soften your character so that you're palatable enough to swallow without sticking in the craw.  Gods above, below, and in between, I'm choking on you.  You were supposed to be a modding teething ring for me to cut my teeth on, and now you're evolving into this monster.  I won't pretend to be angry, because I'm not sophisticated enough to feel that way, but you are frustrating enough to try the patience of a saint.

And I've been lectured more than ten times in the past twenty days on the nature of sociopathy.  Everyone seems to have a different understanding of it, which they claim is the absolute reality.  Irrelevant here, because Andante is not a sociopath.  But to explain the waning of my nerves, the waning of my patience, and my loss of ability to put it all in words.  I understand better than I know how to say, because the language of words is an emotional one, and I don't understand that sort of thing.  So, I end up saying (or typing) something irrelevant to what I mean.  Like taking a jigsaw to a puzzle to make the pieces fit, but they never do anyway.

Thus, I try too hard to take the evil edge off of Andante, and I end up with another Bioware screwup.  Oddly enough, he seems more false when I try to make him *nicer*.  On the other hand, my relationship with Andante is too adversarial for me to be able to shut up and listen to him tell me where he wants to go.  If only he were physically here and I could vent a little pressure breaking his nose, but alas that isn't to be.  I owe him something for breaking my mask, though.  I'll at least tell Imoen he's ticklish (after I hand her a Protection from Magical Energy scroll, that is).  And Korgan might want to know Andante has a bad left knee, just in case they come to blows.

It seems my struggles with this bastard are frustrating everyone.  May I borrow a hammer?  I'd like to smack Andante with it, then myself.

[Tempest]

Tempest: *Hands Clarion a Hammer of NPC Smiting +5* Trust me, I've needed it often enough in the past (Xarana comes to mind). Honestly, if you think Andante's a good idea, ignore my skepticism and do it. Start writing, start coding-do whatever you like. Something I've picked up on in the past is that for every person who comments on an idea, for good or ill, there's another ten who have read the idea and are following it without saying anything. So don't take it hard if someone doesn't like your idea-there's always going to be people who will enjoy it, even if they don't say anything. Just keep going-a mod npc is a *lot* of work, and anyone who can pull it off is deserving of priase.

Xarana: I think I'll remain right where I am. Are you truly that frightened of me, little wizard?

[Alatariel]

CLARION: Okay, that monologue was taking it a bit far, Dante. If they want to believe in the difference...never mind. Arguing with you is worse than trying to argue with Diriel from the IWD2 NPC project. At least he lives for a cause. You? You're out for yourself.

Hysterical. Simply hysterical.