Challenge #13: Family
Every now and then, when night falls and the campfire?s light seems otherworldly and hypnotic, I find myself wondering, thinking, drifting back to days long gone. Then, when the stars seems so far away that I am sure that man isn?t supposed to ever reach out for them, it is easy to feel lost.
Lost in retrospective.
It is always a fragment of a memory that clouds my mind, a shard of a mirror that was broken so long ago, that makes me think of what was and what is yet to come.
On some rare occasions I see myself as the young girl I was back in Candlekeep, lost in thought or seeking adventures in the depths of old books, the rustling of pages the music that made my imagination dance.
I didn?t feel lost, back then.
Every time I think of Candlekeep, of the years I spent there, I see the faces of those who were with me:
Gorion, always finding another book to read for the easily bored girl I was and still am.
Imoen?s shining eyes when she was about to play a prank on someone and needed me as her accomplice.
Neither of them was a relative of mine ? as far as I knew.
And yet there was something I miss dearly when sitting in the cold, watching the flickering flames and listening to the song of the night-time woods around me.
Back then, I was convinced that I had a family.
Even though we were not related by blood.
But what is it, the concept of ?family?, such a fragile and short-lived thing that possesses the power to tear our hearts apart when lost?
I am not capable of defining it - it seems to escape me whenever I try to wrap my head around it. Perhaps there is no definition at all, only emotion linked to it, to make a colourful carpet when the different parts are woven together by time and tears.
It is something that is formed along the way, an emotional bond between those who feel close to each other, never considering their heritage or motivation.
So I would call it something familiar that can be found along the road as well as anywhere else on the planes.
Family is to have someone to watch over you ? someone parental who guides you on your path in life, someone who shows you how to walk with your head held high.
?Ilyanna, I don?t have to remember you that it is your turn to take care of the campfire, do I??
?No, Jaheira??
?Then you better get moving and find some logs to keep the flames alive.?
?As you wish, Jaheira??
?And you really should stop sitting on the cold stone.?
?Of course, Jaheira??
?It was horrifying enough to have you sneeze into a hostile giant?s face when you caught a cold a tenday ago.?
?Indeed, Jaheira??
?And stop mocking me, girl!?
?Yes, Jaheira??
?Enough of this! I have already had my share of distress today, so don?t tempt me to explode!?
?Sure, Jahei ??
?Ilyanna??
?On my way!?
Family is to know that someone will make you learn a lesson - drumming it into your head with a quarterstaff, should the situation arise.
Having a family also means being in constant worry about the well-being of those you love ? to feel responsible for everyone and everything, and to have someone to be a worry to you as well.
?Jaheira?s all grumpy, and why, Edwina? What did I tell you about wreaking unnecessary havoc by using fireballs inside an inn? ?
?It was not my fault (even though it worked out so perfectly) ? didn?t you see this disgusting, lecherous elf, didn?t you hear what he dared to say??
?Yes, dear Edwina, I heard it well enough, but if you don?t want every masculine being to leer at your? somewhat voluptuous self, you should let me fix your dress now instead of later.?
?It is no dress, it is a robe ? and a fine one as well! And stop calling me that ridiculous name!?
?Alright, just let me take care of this flimsy rag you call a robe; it looks as if it?s about to burst with every breath you take. Did I ever mention that it is way too tight-fitting??
?You did, you cruel little wretch, you mindless simian, you incredibly inane blockhead ? and I might just use another fireball to quench your mindless babbling (or I?ll just shove some flame arrows down her throat to make her choke on her own malicious joy, yes, that might do?)!?
?You might want to think of finding a synonym for your beloved ?mindless?, for it sounds boring after having heard it for the umpteenth time today. But don?t even consider looking it up in one of these netherese dictionaries ? we all know how such activities end, honey.?
Family means to have somebody to tease ? preferably someone whose hysterical fits don?t wreck the entire Copper Coronet just because of some skirt chasing elf.
But a girl can?t be picky nowadays, can she?
Family is to have someone who is right beside you to join the fun, and to have someone who chides you for irking others.
?W-what did you do, Ilyanna? E-edwin is talking to himself, and I don?t like the sound of it.?
?What exactly is he mumbling this time??
?This, my raven I cannot tell ? but I suppose it was not very flattering, considering the fact that he concluded his tremendous tirade with something akin to ?and feed on her liver?.?
?My, my, isn?t our wannabe-witch charming today? You should feature her in some kind of play, Haer?Dalis. What about a decent drama called ?Netherese Nightmares???
?Wouldn?t she rather prefer a sonnet in honour of the ?Simian-Slaying-Sorceress???
?Y-you two should n-not make fun of her ?ahem- his condition, you know? You m-might actually hurt his feelings!?
?Well, Aerie, it sounds somewhat reasonable. The fact that our malevolent magician turned into a delicate damsel only three days ago seems already unsettling to me, so I don?t want to know how the current she-beast fares.?
?I knew you would understand m-me, Ilyanna. W-we should do our best to-?
?Hark, my raven, do you hear this most particular howl??
?Yes, I did. It sounded like Edwin trying to stand up to our already irritated druid. And the bet is on.?
?T-ten gold on Jaheira.?
?Aye, my dove, your instincts seem not to delude you ? methinks the wind just whispered the sweet sound of solid wood ??
?- resounding on a certain jerk?s forehead. Better go and prepare your healing spells, Aerie.?
?Y-yes, you?re right.?
?But don?t hurry.?
?I never intended to do so.?
It is like an angel and a demon sitting on your shoulders ? even though I often cannot tell who would assume which role.
A family also includes someone to love you ? a person to be with you no matter the cost, a person you trust and love with all of your heart.
?You seem to ignore all this helter-skelter quite easily, Xan.?
?What- oh, it is you, Ilyanna. Did you ever think of not sneaking up on others??
?The thought actually never crossed my mind. But most people don?t jump out of their skin as easily as you do.?
???
?You are afraid, aren?t you??
?Would there be a point in hiding it? Yes, I am afraid. Quite so, to be honest.?
?You are not willing to talk it over, hm??
?You already know the answer.?
?I fear so.?
?Y-you really should talk to her, Xan.?
?It would be pointless to do so ? words won?t rid us of the Slayer that inhabits her.?
?You are truly insufferable. I suppose Ilyanna has to be hopelessly in love with you.?
?What do you mean? And how come you don?t stutter any more??
?I mean that I would understand her if she felt a sudden desire to rend you on the spot. Given the way you dropped her like a hot potato??
???
???
?Aerie???
?Y-yes, Xan? Is there so-something you want to say??
?Nothing. Pointless. Everything. Total mess??
?I-if you say so??
Sometimes it is convenient to have something like a family ? so you don?t have to bite an insensible lover?s head off.
Family means to let someone else have the first bite.
Every now and then, when the moon paints the world with its silvery shine, I find myself standing in the middle of nowhere, feeling a sudden headache and rubbing my temples in a valiant effort to soothe my throbbing mind. Then, when the bickering and quarrelling already causes every animal within a radius of several leagues to up their sticks or die of bleeding eardrums, it is easy to tinker with the idea of unleashing the Slayer.
I think one could say that the term ?family? should not be limited to those who share the same bloodline or are bound by marriage.
Family isn?t, family happens.
?Oh, simply shut up, everybody! I don?t care who felled which thrice-damned tree with what kind of devastating spell, and I do most definitely not want to know whether the bruise on Edwin?s forehead is more violet than blue. I do not wish to hear any stories of lost wings or the ear-piercingly discordant notes of some tune or another! Just be silent, for heaven?s sake! Stop your scowling, complaining, whining and whistling altogether! Go to the Abyss, visit the Nine Hells if you like or seek Oblivion ? but do it silently!?
And sometimes my very own adorable ragtag family happens to annoy me.
?Behaving like a spoilt child ? what is this tantrum supposed to change??
?Inept fool??
?I?I didn?t mean t-to upset you??
?What a fiery blaze, my raven.?
?We?re all doomed...?
Greatly.
(finished in quite some hurry - I hope there are not too many obvious mistakes left...)
Edited by Ranya, 12 October 2008 - 04:53 AM.
