Love the second half. The way you painted the darkness of the situation and emphasised it without even giving us the talk with Ellesime was very well done. Imoen's reaction was also inspired, and in line with everything else you've done.
Just one little nitpick in terms of grammar; 'A single man, driven mad by anger and desperation, and brought the elven city to its knees' - should probably be 'had brought the elven city'.
Other than that, a very sweet romantic scene at the end that provided a counterpoint to Cassie's grim news. I'm interested to see how the second half of that unfolds!
Hi there!
Glad that you enjoyed it You're indeed right about the grammar mistake. I've gone and corrected it, so it's gone now! I really didn't want to look up Ellesime's exact dialog, so I tried to be creative about avoiding it while still getting the point across. I felt pretty good about the chapter as a whole -- the only possible problem point, I thought might be the untranslated Elvish with the little girl. But if you didn't notice it being awkward, then it must have worked
I'm glad the romantic scene also works. I hope that it stayed in character for Imoen (especially) and Cassandra (also). And that it was hot, of course.