Love the port's description - always creates such a nice adventuring atmosphere!
not sure "sedated movements" is a good choice of wording, since it sort of implies that someone (wizard or a sailor) calmed them by a spell or layer of fat...
He thought about going downstairs to again join Jaheira and Nalia but they would realize his nervous condition. Valygar found himself at the door ready to open it. He dropped his hands again and after banging his head slightly against the doorframe he returned to his observing position at the window. At least he could see the water from here.
would notice instead of would realize perhaps?
?...then you add peeled potatoes and let it simmer for at least an hour. You don?t have to peel the potatoes, if they are new but thoroughly brush them instead. It tastes even better with new ones, at least that?s my opinion.? Jaheira ended her instructions that Nalia wrote down eagerly.
O, that is a great counter-argument to all of us who belive that Jaheira cannot boil a egg
Nalia sighed and shook her head in regret. ?No. It?s her firm belief that everyone who doesn?t have enough to eat is simply too lazy to work.? Nalia?s forehead wrinkled in distress. On their return to Athkatla they had run into Lady Delcia. The Lady De?Arnise had more or less ignored the others and flooded Nalia with a tirade of all the troubles she had to endure, now that Nalia had chosen to abandon her. She lived with a friend, but Lady Delcia had made her implications that she expected Nalia to take care of her quite clear. Nalia had not been less clear that she intended to stay with Rhuan. That Nalia had been brainwashed was one of the weaker accusations Rhuan had do face before Lady Delcia stalked off to her doomed existence promising Nalia that her ungrateful niece had just contributed to her, the Lady De?Arnise?s early grave. Jaheira had praised Silvanus that Rhuan was not easily offended. On the contrary, Lady Delcia?s entrance and exit had amused Rhuan. Only Nalia?s worried expression had prevented a laughing fit.
Nalia had not been less clear... might be a bit easier to have it as "Nalia was just as clear that" Uhm... nobody in the group was nasty enough to propose to Lady Delcia to marry some rich merchant who'd crave her title?
Jaheira watched the change of expressions in the young mage?s face. She understood how hard it must still weigh on Nalia to have lost everything in only a short time. Her father, her home, and her freedom. Nalia had greatly profited from the time on the road, but Lady Delcia knew Nalia and how to rake guilt within her. She had planted its poisonous seed that now stirred in the young woman?s heart and mind.
It is one of the underexploited motives in the game, imo, that Nalia loses her home... I wish there were more about it.
In fact, that one prayer to Helm Sir Anomen Delryn had wanted to do at the Temple had not taken that long. It was a task for the church that had kept him and Rhuan occupied for the last hours and that led them all over town. The first dizzying enthusiastic rspellholdstudios.netspellholdstudios.netspellholdstudios.netspellholdstudios.netspellholdstudios.netspellholdstudios.netspellholdstudios.netspellholdstudios.netspellholdstudios.netspellholdstudios.netspellholdstudios.netspellholdstudios.netspellholdstudios.netspellholdstudios.netush he had experienced after he was dubbed a knight had slowly changed into deep contentment and happiness while they walked from one corner of the city to the other.
You migh want to leave "Sir Anomen Delryn had wanted to do" out, since it had been well-defined previously what prayer we are talking about and it might sound nicer.
Rhuan had sensed his hesitation and looked at him questioningly. In that moment he had realized that his father?s approval and appreciation still had importance, but that Rhuan?s beaming joy after the ceremony or his companions congratulations meant by far more to him. With time, he was certain he would overcome his senseless and pointless wish to gain his father?s approval or appreciation.
Rhuan had not even asked just smiled and taken his arm and gently dragged him past the Delryn Estate to the impressive mansion of the Jysstev?s.
That would have been interesting to see
Anomen would have profited from yet another demonstration of another fit of his father's spite and it would have been an emotional scene. All the way to Waukeen?s Promenade they had barely spoken. Anomen had been too consumed to see the world with new eyes.
I think - and I am not sure - that the later phrase actually denies that he see the world with the new eyes, while from the context I think that he was consumed by experiencing the world as a paladin.
He had revelled in the memory of his prayer to Helm. He could not remember to ever have felt the Watcher closer or more intense. Not even when he was first initiated as Helm?s Cleric. While he had spoken to his god he had also prayed for his mother and sister and for an instance he had felt the certainty that they knew. That they were well and approved. Rhuan had listened with sparkling eyes. She had grabbed his hand and squeezed it. She knew how he felt. She hardly cried for Gorion anymore but she still missed him. And every now and then she felt his presence as if he wanted to let her know that he would always watch over her. They had finished their meal in silence, both lost in thoughts about people they loved and lost.
Good description of a religious communion.
Anomen held the door to the Copper Coronet open for Rhuan and turned back to take one more look around to the crowded room before he followed her outside. It was still an establishment of questionable reputation but it had begun to change since Hendak had taken over. Drunkards and troublemakers were usually complimented outside and ruffians had learned that brawls were no longer tolerated. The change had begun and was noticeable long before Anomen had passed his test but today he saw it clearly.
I am not sure what you meant with "complimented outside"?
Anomen?s appearance hardly ever left anything to criticize but today it was spotless. The days before his test Anomen had kept himself occupied to bring his armour, weapons and himself to the shine. The hammer of Thunderbolts looked like newly forged, his hair and beard were neatly trimmed, and his boots were shining. The Delryn family shield that he had strapped to his back had never looked better. But most impressive was the new plate mail forged from Firkraag?s scales. Together with the Dragon Helm he had tucked under his arm, he looked cunning and handsome.
I can imagine that
She never found any resemblances to the great heroines Gorion had told her about. Those were always stunningly beautiful beings, elflike, with silken hair and porcelain skins, whereas she was just a pale young human female with unusual dark eyes and greyish hair.
Oh, so Gorion filled her head with that sort of tails? Lol, I would have thought him *more* sensible!
Rhuan laughed. ?To be honest, I?m not sure if I would try to secure the real ore without you. But aside the fact that I wouldn?t want to test the patience of Helm, I don?t think it would be the proper thing to do on your first day as knight, would it??
Nope, cheating is not the right thing to do
Rhuan?s blood rushed as she felt his fingertips caressing her ear, his beard slightly scraping her skin and her lips coming to a new life. She felt the sun on her head and the wind brushing over their faces like a veil of thin silken fabric. Emotions she had only had an idea about overwhelmed her and rendered her unstable and weak-kneed. She grabbed hold at the unbelievably hard and smoothly polished scales that covered Anomen?s chest.
Who would have thought
?Oh, I do! Now.? Nalia nodded. ?He seemed to be a nice man a few years ago.? The redness in her cheeks intensified. ?There used to be a time when the prospect of becoming Lady Roenall wasn?t that dreadful.? She tried to sound casual. ?I was young and naïve back then.?
Yak!
Enough, Valygar decided. Even Jaheira could not remain calm considering that they still had not returned. Firmly he stood up and left his room. In passing the staircase window he cast a bored look outside. He almost stumbled as his feet wanted go to on but his eyes had locked on a most disturbing sight.
Valygar grabbed hold onto the window?s frame and glared down as if incessant staring alone would make them stop.
Jee, Anomen sure found the best spot to kiss the girl. Next time he should try Walkeen's Promenade, so that people who could not afford going to circus would enjoy the show and the town cryers be on hand as well.
Anomen?s mouth gaped open just a little as her words seeped into his mind. True, her response had been shy and uncertain. But, it was not as if he had kissed that often, just once -- or one woman to be precise. And, he had never thought that Rhuan had never kissed before. He gently squeezed her hands. Her first kiss! A broad smile illuminated his face. He had kissed her for the time. His life was perfect.
I think you meant "He had kissed her for the first time."
Valygar twitched involuntarily. He had not heard her coming. His first instinct was to flee back into his room. He was in no mood for a discussion about whatever with whomever.
Well, Valygar is not that dainty
Mazzy?s eyes wandered between Valygar?s stoic stare at Rhuan and Anomen as the couple still stood opposite each other in straight view. There was no opportunity to hear what they spoke as the window was closed and they were too far away anyway.
Not to mention that it would have been totally ignoble
?... see to the Sphere for ourselves.? Valygar?s attention was captured by that watchword. He tore his eyes from the scene outside and looked at Mazzy. Seeing his questioning expression she sighed and started her proposal anew.
Valygar felt a tiny amount of guilt because of Mazzy. She still irritated him with her persistence, but she was a fine person and did not deserve his bad mood. He granted her his full concentration. She knew other reliable adventurers. Valygar and she could meet with them and take care of Valygar?s ancestor.
Valygar?s stare returned to Rhuan and Anomen. ?I am tempted to accept your offer, Mazzy,? he finally mumbled. ?I will talk to Rhuan.?
Ah, Mazzy is wiser than z man, but that's no surprise.
Anomen had irritated and angered everyone, including herself, several times since he had joined her little group of adventurers. Rhuan understood that everyone?s patience had been severely tested but she failed to see why Valygar would loose his patience on this special day of all days.
I'd go with "loose his cool" since you have already used patience in a previous sentence.
Rhuan felt physically slapped by Valygar?s amusement. She knew that Anomen liked her, but until he kissed her she had not even thought that there might be more to his attention than gratitude and friendship. Valygar?s laugh had cut like a knife into her confused heart and caused a pain she had never felt before and she had no name for yet. Unknowingly and inadvertently Valygar had shoved her female pride from childhood to adulthood.
Well, Valygar does behave irrationally
?And what exactly do you find...? Rhuan paused for effect, ?hilarious?? She stepped closer to the table and stared at Valygar with squinted eyes and tightly pursed lips. ?Is it hilarious that a man might take an interest in a plain country girl like myself -- or that Anomen has taken interest in me??
That's definetly not it
Finally she dropped her hands. ?We will celebrate Anomen tonight. You may come or stay here and mope! I couldn?t care less!? She turned and stomped to the door. ?Oh,? she hardly looked back over her shoulder, ?I?m sure it will be a long night. Don?t bother to join me tomorrow morning. I will certainly sleep in.?
Valygar twitched when the door slam shut.
With a stifled groan he pushed the massive table away from him. It skidded at the wall leaving a visible edge at the paintwork as a sign of his frustration.
He rubbed his forehead with his fingers. ?Getting better with every year, Corthala.? He certified himself. It was over before it had even begun. The relief. Where was the relief?
Ah, but th erelief is not found as easy as that. Have to go much farther, Valygar
She concentrated and fought back tears and anger, but pain and desperation anchored in her heart. It had been such a wonderful day. She breathed deeply and slowly regained composure again. Valygar had ruined her day, but she would not allow that he would destroy Anomen?s day as well. Slowly she walked down the stairs mustering a smile. She would try to make up for Valygar?s absence and be especially nice to Anomen. He deserved it. It was the day of his life.
probably just "allow him to destroy Valygar's day as well" Uhm... will Anomen truly care that much that Valygar does not give a damn about his knighthood?
Nice chapter and great use of the modder's absolutely favorite conflict
