Matron Despana is but one Matron Mother of Ust Natha. One! And as far as I remeber her House is not even the First House of Ust Natha. Solaufein is allied with one of the other Houses and from what he says it is probably with one higher in hierarchy, than Despana. But, being a meager male, his allegiance to PC is nothing in a drow city where the power rests with female priesthood of Lolth. Males can never be leaders in traditional drow society, they are kill-at-awhim dirt beneath females' feet. Solaufein only lives by the graces of whatever high-ranking female who took him in after Phaere, lol
And why didn't anyone tell me that?
Something must be wrong when I don't know this after having finished the game about 36 times.