91 replies to this topic

[Shadowhawke]

Just giving this a bump in preparation...

[Maekir]

Hmmm...bumping your own thread(just kidding).
Read your fanfic and I found it interesting(granted I am a sucker for the assasin/killer with heart).
Can't wait till the next chapter.

[Dark-Mage]

Here is some apreciation for you Shadowhawke. I have just read all of your fanfic in almost one sitting, was so interesting and beautifully detailed that I could not stop :-D

Great job and I eagerly await the next chapter *cracks whip*

[Shadowhawke]

Hmmm...bumping your own thread(just kidding).
Read your fanfic and I found it interesting(granted I am a sucker for the assasin/killer with heart).
Can't wait till the next chapter.

Hey Maekir! Thanks for reviewing... I'm a sucker for the assassin/killer with a heart too... although I'm sure you can tell that already . Next chapter is coming straight up, so I hope you enjoy it too!

Here is some apreciation for you Shadowhawke. I have just read all of your fanfic in almost one sitting, was so interesting and beautifully detailed that I could not stop :-D

Great job and I eagerly await the next chapter *cracks whip*

Oooh! Appreciation . Heh, thanks for your kind words Dark-Mage... I'm quite impressed with your dedication in reading all of it in almost one sitting! I hope you enjoy the next chapter too.

[quinlan]

Greetings,

I have just read the XXIV Chapter. So, opinions:

Haer'Dalis is good.

This Danika rocks for a Bhaalspawn! I find her very interesting. The love part of her i found well developed, but what i liked most is the mystery, the part about the redness in her eyes that Haer'Dalis noticed... What is it about? Her heritage maybe?

That Cormin character was good, too.

One think that i personally with my subjective opinion found stressed, was the events of the night. Too much stuff happened that i lost my suspension of disbelief, a needed element when reading a fantasy story. Whenever i played the game that was my complain, that it was possible to do too many things before you called it a day. I did it too, but when i read it here and because i have played role play a lot, it seems far fetched that the party did so many things. For example, i would consider the Harper stronghold a seperate encounter that would need one day or night on its own. But of course this is ONLY my subjective opinion.

Edited by quinlan, 23 January 2008 - 08:32 AM.

[Shadowhawke]

Greetings,

I have just read the XXIV Chapter. So, opinions:

Haer'Dalis is good.

This Danika rocks for a Bhaalspawn! I find her very interesting. The love part of her i found well developed, but what i liked most is the mystery, the part about the redness in her eyes that Haer'Dalis noticed... What is it about? Her heritage maybe?

That Cormin character was good, too.

I'm glad you like the characters. . I'm curious about what you mean when you say 'the love' part of her you find well developed, however... do you mean her friendships with the group and her, uh, interesting relationship with Cormin?

Oh, and yes. The red flash in her eyes was indeed due to her heritage.

One think that i personally with my subjective opinion found stressed, was the events of the night. Too much stuff happened that i lost my suspension of disbelief, a needed element when reading a fantasy story. Whenever i played the game that was my complain, that it was possible to do too many things before you called it a day. I did it too, but when i read it here and because i have played role play a lot, it seems far fetched that the party did so many things. For example, i would consider the Harper stronghold a seperate encounter that would need one day or night on its own. But of course this is ONLY my subjective opinion.

*nods*. That's a fair enough comment. To be fair, I think that the Harper's Hold took more than one night... it was from around the morning of the second day to late at night, so it took over fifteen hours. I know what you mean when you say it was pretty unbelievable in the game for you to complete so many quests before night. But I guess it panned out a little differently in my head when I was writing. In my mind, I thought the Harper Stronghold, seeing as it really just consisted of killing Xzar's apprentices, exploring around the hold a little, talking to the Spectral Harpers, and carrying a bird to Xzar could have easily taken under three hours, depending on how resourceful and intelligent the Bhaalspawn and their party was.

Of course, that's just my opinion. . Sane people probably don't do that much in such a short time. But thanks for bringing this up... heh, I'll definitely be keeping the realism factor in mind while I keep writing.

I hope you enjoy the next chapter too.

Edited by Shadowhawke, 01 February 2008 - 02:36 PM.

[quinlan]

What kind of ability did Cormin use? Very nice description.

[Shadowhawke]

He used the object he bought from Haemish, which I will be explaining a bit more later. . I'm glad you liked the description, I wasn't sure if I'd gotten its effects across properly.

Thanks for reviewing again, my friend.

[Dark-Mage]

Ooooh, very good Shadowhawke. That item sounds rather nifty.

Loved the whole betrayel as well - was waiting for something alone those lines to happen :-)

[Shadowhawke]

Ooooh, very good Shadowhawke. That item sounds rather nifty.

Loved the whole betrayel as well - was waiting for something alone those lines to happen :-)

Oooh! Thanks for reviewing. I'm glad you liked it. It is indeed a nifty item, but I'm working on it to make it so that it fits more into the narrative and doesn't automatically transform the party into overpowered!mode.

And heh, I guess the betrayal thing was a little obvious. I'm still happy you enjoyed it, though. It does give a glimpse into the lifestyle Cormin led before, so I thought it was the path that worked out the best.

Thanks for your reviews again, to both quinlan and Dark-Mage. . Reviews really are a weakness of mine; they can have this strange little effect that makes me drop everything to write.

Edited by Shadowhawke, 08 February 2008 - 03:40 PM.

[Dark-Mage]

Thanks for your reviews again, to both quinlan and Dark-Mage. . Reviews really are a weakness of mine; they can have this strange little effect that makes me drop everything to write.

;-)

Another greath chapter Shadowhawke. Inner musing at the start was well done, effectively conveyed the shock of learning about Cormin's bloody past. The Harper scene was well written as well :-) Especially liked the use of Selune and Lathander :-)

[quinlan]

T

Edited by quinlan, 08 February 2008 - 11:55 PM.

[quinlan]

The finishing touch, the crack at the head...

Tell me, the battle at the previous post, did you just write about it, or did you play it (with dice and rules) beforehand?

I apologize for the mistake of posting to your story thread.

[Kaeloree]

I've spent the majority of this morning reading this fic from the prologue through to chapter 26, and I have to say - I thought you were a great writer before, but obviously I wasn't giving you enough credit.

You've made the story your own; Cormin is believable, and Danika is just fantastic. You've nailed all the personalities and events, and I love the use of in-game dialogue - you meld it in with your own writing so well it's very difficult to tell where canon dialogue ends and yours begins.

I really like the dark feel of the fic, and how throughout it you've incorporated a rather self-deprecating humour. I can't wait for you to finish it so I can find out what happens next!

[Solstice]

Just dropping by to toss more accolades on you, and encourage you to keep it up! I really like your version of Jaheira-you've got her down very well, in my opinion. And by "the last few chapters", I really hope you don't mean you're drawing to a close. It's been a great read so far-would hate to see it end.

[Shadowhawke]

The finishing touch, the crack at the head...

Tell me, the battle at the previous post, did you just write about it, or did you play it (with dice and rules) beforehand?

Heh, I liked the ending myself. I know it wasn't really typical of me, being without some character revelation or even a cliffhanger, but I really couldn't help myself in this situation.

And no... I didn't play with dice or rules beforehand, I'm afraid. Did the battle come off as noticeably unrealistic? I know I was going for a bit of a stretch there, but it seemed to work in my mind... they *are* fairly experienced adventurers by this rate, after all, and with spells to back them up, I thought they would be a fairly reckoning force even against so many assassins/footpads.

I apologize for the mistake of posting to your story thread.

Don't worry, it's an easy mistake to make. Thanks for reviewing at all!

[Shadowhawke]

I've spent the majority of this morning reading this fic from the prologue through to chapter 26, and I have to say - I thought you were a great writer before, but obviously I wasn't giving you enough credit.

Heh, *blush*. Thanks for the kind words, Kae! I really have to congratulate you on your dedication too... last time I checked, the prologue through to chapter 26 was over 60,000 words.

You've made the story your own; Cormin is believable, and Danika is just fantastic. You've nailed all the personalities and events, and I love the use of in-game dialogue - you meld it in with your own writing so well it's very difficult to tell where canon dialogue ends and yours begins.

I really like the dark feel of the fic, and how throughout it you've incorporated a rather self-deprecating humour. I can't wait for you to finish it so I can find out what happens next!

I'm glad you like the way I've done this, and Danika as well. And you don't know how great it is to be told about the humour part... *coughs* I've always been pretty bad at that aspect, so it's nice to know that there's someone chuckling quietly along with me.

To be honest, this fic was originally meant to veer into darker territory, but I think I might save that for the eventual sequel instead.

Just dropping by to toss more accolades on you, and encourage you to keep it up! I really like your version of Jaheira-you've got her down very well, in my opinion. And by "the last few chapters", I really hope you don't mean you're drawing to a close. It's been a great read so far-would hate to see it end.

Thanks, Solstice! And again, thanks for the validation of Jaheira... I have always loved her as a character, and wished things had turned out a little differently in BGII. However, I am afraid that for now, these really will be the last chapters; I've got another two mostly written, which I might split into three, and I might add an epilogue to match the presence of the prologue. This is both due to the fact that I feel this particular arc of DwtN is winding down, as well as with the fact that I'm about to enter my first year of Uni, and since I'm already carrying on a fanfic that is far further from completion than this one, something's got to give.

Hopefully, however, there will be a sequel sometime. I won't promise you anything soon because of the aforementioned reasons, but I think I have too much planned out for the next arc to leave this completely. So I hope that's okay.


Thanks again, to all three of you for your reviews! You've really made my day. Thanks for both your encouragement as well as the fact you're still with me throughout this pretty long haul, and I do hope you enjoy the way this fic winds up

[quinlan]

Heh, I liked the ending myself. I know it wasn't really typical of me, being without some character revelation or even a cliffhanger, but I really couldn't help myself in this situation.

Some times simplicity gets the job done in a better way, as in this, Jaheira's action for an answer - and an ending for the post.

And no... I didn't play with dice or rules beforehand, I'm afraid. Did the battle come off as noticeably unrealistic? I know I was going for a bit of a stretch there, but it seemed to work in my mind... they *are* fairly experienced adventurers by this rate, after all, and with spells to back them up, I thought they would be a fairly reckoning force even against so many assassins/footpads.

No! It didn't! On the contrary, i was pleased with the way it unfolded. If i was put under the gun, i might say that the handling of the effect of the wounds in various members might have been in need of some more work, but it is COMPLETELY, subjectively, only my opinion. About the dice stuff, i asked because i have it in mind for my story, in fact i used it in my first battle (in the 3rd chapter) and i enjoyed playing it. I await the time you people will read it and your opinion if i handled it right, or not. After all, as i said, writing is an alternative to live playing for me, and it was a chance to put some "live" action in my hobby. So, i was just wandering if you thought the same way.

Thanks again, to all three of you for your reviews! You've really made my day. Thanks for both your encouragement as well as the fact you're still with me throughout this pretty long haul, and I do hope you enjoy the way this fic winds up

You are welcome.

Don't worry, it's an easy mistake to make. Thanks for reviewing at all!

Hey! Do you think so low of your work, that merely the existence of a review is desirable? Your fic is worthy on its own, no reviewers attached!

[Dark-Mage]

Blimey, that was an amazing chapter SH. Everything from the description of the pool of blood to Cormin's plunge into it. Loved your Bodhi a swell, sensual yet creepy just like she should be And I'm guessing Cormin smacked her one with the Mace of Disruption?

Keep up the good work

[quinlan]

Good job is too mild a word for this new post.

Only one question arose in my mind. How come nobody noticed the mace Cormin had in his possesion after the bloodbath? A mace is a medium sized weapon, one that is difficult to hide in one's person. Or, perhaps you could have indicated Cormin consciously hiding it somehow, as it should require special effort. He couldn't have carried it without saying anything, without hiding it (you didn't indicate that he did), and nobody notice it.