Hear hear to what K'aeloree said! The interaction was as incredible as the last two, especially with your new revelation. The way your story has unfolded has really got me on edge now... what with the nature of the first challenge and his refusal to impart either the Summoning Spirit or the healing potions. All of the tweaking with paragraphs and sentence structures that you've mentioned appear to be working very well too; it's a nice, smooth read that adds to the effect. Please, keep writing!
Yeah, the way I figure it, Sarevok wouldn't do a lot of the things he does in the game, and would do a lot of things he doesn't -- so, I have a lot of ground to cover, here. That's what fanfiction is all about, right?
Thank you for what you've said about the tweaking, I'm glad that you think that they've made this into a smoother read. Now, I'm in the middle of tweaking this current chapter. It seems a bit forced to be at times. *sigh* That serves me right, with my posting happy trigger finger -- my style could be summed up in a line: 'post now, regret at your leisure'.
Also, I'm struggling with writing a realistic edwin... it seems that the Edwin from my parody slips into his pov while I'm not looking.
