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#21 Tempest

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Posted 03 September 2008 - 02:50 AM

In case you didn't get the subtext, the elven clothes belonged to Ellesime and Irenicus before his exile. :)

The conversation with Xan probably took more thought and consideration of the character than any other conversation of its ilk to date, I have to add. Xan was always a somewhat ancillary character in ASE, and I confess I never put much thought into why he did what he did-he was being dragged along by Imoen for most of the story. This was my first time to really explore Xan's motivations and character, especially since his listed alignment is Lawful Neutral. I'm pleased with the end result, though, and now it gives Xan concrete motivations in addition to knowing as a writer what makes one of my own characters tick.

Imoen at the end couldn't help but be abrupt, I think, unless I wanted her to wake up slowly. It was intentional that she was jarring and all over the place-she's a little whacked in the head from the experiments.

One other point I was trying to do with this chapter was to hint at a passing of the torch for who looked after Imoen-throughout ASE, Alexandria was firmly in the position of a protective elder sister, but now Alexandria is starting to pass the job on to Xan. Alexandria and Xan are really a bit too different at very basic levels to ever be friends per se, but there is a definite measure of quiet respect between them now.

"The righteous need not cower before the drumbeat of human progress. Though the song of yesterday fades into the challenge of tomorrow, God still watches and judges us. Evil lurks in the datalinks as it lurked in the streets of yesterday, but it was never the streets that were evil." - Sister Miriam Godwinson, Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri


#22 Shadowhawke

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Posted 10 September 2008 - 10:47 PM

Whoah... creepily done. I was quite surprised at the inclusion of a certain red-head we all know, but the canon and your new inventions were woven in wonderfully. The idea of Ajantis being taken away by the vampires was also intriguing. I'm really liking all of these hints you're spilling out that might or might not evolve into greater things later... can't wait to see where you go with them, Tempest!

Through lightning, travel shadow,
Through hell and all above,
Surviving sword and arrow,
Bound stronger by the love

***

And in the end a witness,
To where the death has lain,
Silent through the sorrow,
Where innocents lie slain


#23 Tempest

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Posted 11 September 2008 - 02:48 AM

Don't expect some of the hints I've dropped to lead to something for a while, if they do so at all. :) I deliberately wrote Ghostmaker with the intent of leaving me with some wiggle room, starting things I could choose to follow up on or not later, as the story goes on.

Yoshimo, on the other hand, was fun for me to write-I never thought so before, when writing Darian's banters, so maybe this was just sheer chance, but there was some definite entertainment in writing Yoshi, as well as him simply being interesting-he's almost as over the top as Haer'Dalis, but in a calculating way that deliberately keeps him just short of going over, he's very secretive while trying his best to not look like he's secretive, and so on and so forth. A very different experience from any other major character I've written yet, and it's an interesting time.

"The righteous need not cower before the drumbeat of human progress. Though the song of yesterday fades into the challenge of tomorrow, God still watches and judges us. Evil lurks in the datalinks as it lurked in the streets of yesterday, but it was never the streets that were evil." - Sister Miriam Godwinson, Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri


#24 Arkeus

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 01:56 PM

k, sorry for not Reviewing this more.

Just to say i am loving this sequel, and i am quite scared for poor immy (and am routing for Immy/Anomen's sister, or Immy/Alexandra).

This is quie well written, and it has plot!

Damn, makes me want to write my own BG fic, and come back to my old plans :/

#25 Tempest

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 02:26 PM

If it makes you feel any better, I was inspired to write ASE and Malleus Animorum after reading another talented writer's BG2/ToB story here at SHS. :)

Not sure what you mean by rooting for Imoen/Moira or Imoen/Alexandria.

As always, thanks for letting me know what you thought.

"The righteous need not cower before the drumbeat of human progress. Though the song of yesterday fades into the challenge of tomorrow, God still watches and judges us. Evil lurks in the datalinks as it lurked in the streets of yesterday, but it was never the streets that were evil." - Sister Miriam Godwinson, Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri


#26 Kellen

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 02:54 PM

If it makes you feel any better, I was inspired to write ASE and Malleus Animorum after reading another talented writer's BG2/ToB story here at SHS. :)

Not sure what you mean by rooting for Imoen/Moira or Imoen/Alexandria.

As always, thanks for letting me know what you thought.

I think (s)he meant that pairing... romantic pairing.
"She could resist temptation. Really she could. Sometimes. At least when it wasn't tempting." - Calli Slythistle
"She was a fire, and I had no doubt that she had already done her share of burning." - Lord Firael Algathrin
"Most assume that all the followers of Lathander are great morning people. They're very wrong." - Tanek of Cloakwood

we are all adults playing a fantasy together, - cmorgan

#27 Tempest

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 03:00 PM

Sorry, but here's the answer from the horse's mouth:

Alexandria: Me, with Imoen? Did you get whacked in the head, good sir? She's my fething sister, for Selune's sake!

Imoen: And me with Moira? Um, one: I don't like women in that sort of way, and two: I'm spoken for. *Remote-glomps Xan from Spellhold*

"The righteous need not cower before the drumbeat of human progress. Though the song of yesterday fades into the challenge of tomorrow, God still watches and judges us. Evil lurks in the datalinks as it lurked in the streets of yesterday, but it was never the streets that were evil." - Sister Miriam Godwinson, Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri


#28 Shadowhawke

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Posted 28 September 2008 - 03:01 AM

Hey Tempest! Another stellar chapter I see. Again, I love the little changes you made to canon (as well as the image of Alexandria going to drink, afterwards... that just worked so wonderfully in my head for some reason after reading your work) like the changes to Gaelan's wording and the way he was introduced. I'm also very intrigued by the addition of Moira, after the hints you'd been dropping, I would never have guessed that the trail of crumbs would lead to her! So yes... eagerly looking forwards to more, as always. :D

Through lightning, travel shadow,
Through hell and all above,
Surviving sword and arrow,
Bound stronger by the love

***

And in the end a witness,
To where the death has lain,
Silent through the sorrow,
Where innocents lie slain


#29 Tempest

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Posted 28 September 2008 - 04:44 AM

I made sure to leave that trail of crumbs some ambiguity-up until I started writing that chapter, I still didn't know who would be joining the party-it would either have been Moira there, or a long talk between Alexandria and Yoshimo. The final member of the party should be obvious enough at this point, but I will say that Valygar and Cernd both came very, very close to taking Moira's slot in the party, but she was selected for somewhat more esoteric reasons...

The changes to Gaelan and how that scene happened were predicated on two facts: in the story, Alexandria isn't forced to head into the slums as soon as she leaves the Promenade, and she doesn't get the benefit of seeing the cutscene of Imoen and Irenicus being carted off to Spellhold. A little manipulation by Moira solved the first problem easily enough, but the latter was pretty much all in Bayle's hands.

However, I will say that there is one encounter between Alexandria and a certain canon minor character certain to come up in the next chapter or two that I'm rather looking forward to writing. The minor character's style of interaction isn't something I'm familiar with, but Alexandria's reaction will be fun. :devil:

"The righteous need not cower before the drumbeat of human progress. Though the song of yesterday fades into the challenge of tomorrow, God still watches and judges us. Evil lurks in the datalinks as it lurked in the streets of yesterday, but it was never the streets that were evil." - Sister Miriam Godwinson, Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri


#30 Shadowhawke

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Posted 05 October 2008 - 02:20 AM

Hey again, Tempest! Awesome new chapter again, and this was one where I just loved all the little details. Yoshimo's comment about the Copper Coronet and the Temple of Ilmater made my family look at me weirdly while I was reading... I don't think I'm ever going to be able to visit the Copper Coronet in-game without thinking about that remark again. I also loved your descriptions of the Temple District - it expanded the beauty we already saw in-game, which was very nice indeed. I also like how you included the other deities and made it more in line with what the Temple District would realistically be like.

Oh, and thanks for the cameo. ^_^ I very much appreciate it. Can't wait until your next chapter, and how Alexandria fares in the Umar Hills. :D

Through lightning, travel shadow,
Through hell and all above,
Surviving sword and arrow,
Bound stronger by the love

***

And in the end a witness,
To where the death has lain,
Silent through the sorrow,
Where innocents lie slain


#31 Tempest

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Posted 05 October 2008 - 04:56 AM

Umar Hills will come second, actually. :) There's one more familiar face to see first. The info on some details of the temple district was pulled out of the Faiths and Pantheons book-it's official (pretending 4E doesn't exist, at any rate) that Athkatla is the center of the churches of Milil and Waukeen, and Selune herself has a major center of, shall we say, interest in Amn, which could make for a very interesting, if non-canonical, adventuring site. Unfortunately, Myth Lharast is known to be ruled by an army of undead up to and including demiliches, which I don't think Alexandria is ready to take on. Yet...

Also, it occurred to me while writing that chapter that I slipped up on a minor but important detail-Jaheira and Xan should not have been able to cast spells in Irenicus' dungeon. :( Xan's spellbook and Jaheira's divine focus were taken away from them, and they should have been unable to use magic. They've presumably obtained replacements since coming into Athkatla, but that was a detail I should have remembered, considering I had Alexandria unable to cast spells due to missing her holy symbol.

"The righteous need not cower before the drumbeat of human progress. Though the song of yesterday fades into the challenge of tomorrow, God still watches and judges us. Evil lurks in the datalinks as it lurked in the streets of yesterday, but it was never the streets that were evil." - Sister Miriam Godwinson, Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri


#32 Sir_Carnifex

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Posted 06 October 2008 - 03:24 PM

Oh, and thanks for the cameo. ^_^ I very much appreciate it. Can't wait until your next chapter, and how Alexandria fares in the Umar Hills. :D

That's the second cameo I've seen so far. Now I'll be looking for more. Hmm, Sir Carnifex of the Order of.... Nah.... it doesn't sound right. :P
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." - Herm Albright

#33 Tempest

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Posted 06 October 2008 - 03:34 PM

Other cameos so far:

Annie Fletcher (alias of Ilmatar, seen under arrest by the Flaming Fist in ASE)
Jaina (another alias of Ilmatar, also under arrest by the Flaming Fist in ASE)
Jolyth (Jaheira's false name in ASE at the ducal inauguration)
Kellen (Reverend Brother Kellen of the Ilmateri church, as mentioned by Moira)
Bluenose (Brother Eson Eulb of the Ilmateri church, ditto)
Amaurea (Reverend Mother Amaurea [read: head of the Ilmateri church in Athkatla], ditto)

Shadowhawke simply had the misfortune of lending her name to a character who got actual screentime. :) There will be more cameos to come-it's just something I like doing, and I've actually given nods to many more characters and people than you'd think so far.

"The righteous need not cower before the drumbeat of human progress. Though the song of yesterday fades into the challenge of tomorrow, God still watches and judges us. Evil lurks in the datalinks as it lurked in the streets of yesterday, but it was never the streets that were evil." - Sister Miriam Godwinson, Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri


#34 Sir_Carnifex

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Posted 07 October 2008 - 07:41 PM

And I didn't notice any of those except two. Shows how observant I really am. :P

Now, I wonder how others did in picking out the names?
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." - Herm Albright

#35 Kellen

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Posted 08 October 2008 - 07:43 AM

I get told about most to all of the cameos through IM. :P
"She could resist temptation. Really she could. Sometimes. At least when it wasn't tempting." - Calli Slythistle
"She was a fire, and I had no doubt that she had already done her share of burning." - Lord Firael Algathrin
"Most assume that all the followers of Lathander are great morning people. They're very wrong." - Tanek of Cloakwood

we are all adults playing a fantasy together, - cmorgan

#36 Tempest

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Posted 08 October 2008 - 08:14 AM

Just so there is no misunderstanding, I am going to state things plainly: making cameos and references is something I like to do. But it is not part of the story, and if anyone gets it in their head to request a cameo, it will likely be answered in the form of a random character dying a horrible death, or possibly a known pedophile wanted by the Order of the Radiant Heart for questioning, and I will not answer any questions of what cameos, if any, I have planned. The extent of the one in the most recent chapter was a mistake on my part. Do not attempt to compound it.

Edit: Also, might as well make this public. PM's pestering me about possible romantic pairings will either be ignored or shot down publicly. Someone who will not be named PM'ing me endlessly about Edwin and Kelsey is directly responsible for their deaths in the story. Do not cause the deaths of any more innocent men and/or women who would otherwise not be present in the story.

Edited by Tempest, 08 October 2008 - 08:22 AM.

"The righteous need not cower before the drumbeat of human progress. Though the song of yesterday fades into the challenge of tomorrow, God still watches and judges us. Evil lurks in the datalinks as it lurked in the streets of yesterday, but it was never the streets that were evil." - Sister Miriam Godwinson, Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri


#37 Kellen

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Posted 08 October 2008 - 01:05 PM

Edit: Also, might as well make this public. PM's pestering me about possible romantic pairings will either be ignored or shot down publicly. Someone who will not be named PM'ing me endlessly about Edwin and Kelsey is directly responsible for their deaths in the story. Do not cause the deaths of any more innocent men and/or women who would otherwise not be present in the story.

:lol: Well said, Temp.
"She could resist temptation. Really she could. Sometimes. At least when it wasn't tempting." - Calli Slythistle
"She was a fire, and I had no doubt that she had already done her share of burning." - Lord Firael Algathrin
"Most assume that all the followers of Lathander are great morning people. They're very wrong." - Tanek of Cloakwood

we are all adults playing a fantasy together, - cmorgan

#38 Shadowhawke

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Posted 15 October 2008 - 08:28 PM

Ooh, and it's off to the Keep and Umar Hills, I see. I'm very interested to see how you'll deal with those two in the realistic sense that you've been pushing all this time. I must say, you've also gotten me quite interested in Moira. I can't wait to see what else you've got in store for us. ^_^

Through lightning, travel shadow,
Through hell and all above,
Surviving sword and arrow,
Bound stronger by the love

***

And in the end a witness,
To where the death has lain,
Silent through the sorrow,
Where innocents lie slain


#39 Tempest

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Posted 16 October 2008 - 03:19 AM

Warning: expect heavily philosophy next chapter.

"The righteous need not cower before the drumbeat of human progress. Though the song of yesterday fades into the challenge of tomorrow, God still watches and judges us. Evil lurks in the datalinks as it lurked in the streets of yesterday, but it was never the streets that were evil." - Sister Miriam Godwinson, Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri


#40 Shadowhawke

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Posted 19 October 2008 - 07:29 PM

Oooh, but great philosophy nonetheless. I liked the insight into the Delryn family from Moira's perspective, I don't think I've ever seen that done before, and it was great. The last part with Jaheira also gave me a good chuckle. Very nicely done as always, Tempest, if a little short. Looking forward to this continuing!

Through lightning, travel shadow,
Through hell and all above,
Surviving sword and arrow,
Bound stronger by the love

***

And in the end a witness,
To where the death has lain,
Silent through the sorrow,
Where innocents lie slain