60 replies to this topic

[Yochlol]

I did tell you that I wasn't fully satisfied with the story, didn't I? You don't have to worry, I'm not offended by your criticism, I appreciate it.

The reason why I wrote the Cyric part was because I needed an excuse for Ene to run off protecting the balance, leaving the Old World unguarded so she would fail protecting it and be sent in Exile until she had redeemed herself. (Damn, long sentence! ) Sorry, Stone Wolf, but I wouldn't do it that way, as she's supposed to have fallen from grace before she meets the PC.

Any suggestions? Why would elf-loving Ene leave the Old World unguarded? She had to protect the balance, right? Ok, ideas? The Cyric part is too much, I agree.

But since she's so powerful, why not change her location to Irenicus' dungeon and he's "researches" as well as the PC? Let's say she had just travelled to Athkatla and had been taken captive by the mad wizards for his researches. She can be found... Among the dryads, for instance, recently escaped from her cell.

(Damn, I haven't felt so creative in years! What's happening??? )

[Shed]

The problem with having your NPC spawn in Irenicus' dungeon is that it is over-used by mods, esp. large ones.

As for leaving the Old World... who knows, perhaps she just got bored.

[Yochlol]

Ok, she will be at the Copper Coronet then.

Enelya loved being in the Old World, so no, she couldn't simply "get bored". Ok, how about this:

There was a threat to the balance in Faerûn. Let's say... Oh, yes, drow threatening to destroy human villages to the North (or something) and she went to put a stop to it. (She was in the company of paladins of the Radiant Heart, of course) When she returned, the Old World had been destroyed, and she had failed.

What do you think?

[Yochlol]

Have you grown bored with my idea already?

Edited by Yochlol, 13 October 2004 - 10:39 AM.

[Deva]

Hmm... I think it would be more interesting if Enelya discovered her past with CHARNAME. As it is, it seemes as though she'd become a much more important/powerful person then the PC. Also, a small criticism... but I highly doubt a matron mother would adopt a surface elf.... especially among her own children. She'd be set to work, or something... CHARNAME is pnly spared that because s/he looks like a Drow.

[Stone Wolf]

Have you grown bored with my idea already?

Naw, just away from my computer.

I just think that it's too much for the NPC to have any dealings with a Power before meeting the PC. I mean, your NPC should be able to deal with the other Bhaalspawn without the PC doing anything!

[Plasmocat]

Not to be nitpicky ... but how could a fighter/mage/assassin who beat Cyric in battle be overrun by orges, even a band of them?

I would only believe this if she was incapacitated in some way, rather than just "careless." Perhaps you could have her afflicted with some kind of debilitating disease/accidental loss of limb/something?

That way, you could set up your original stats as a demi-celestial being & justify beating Cyric via her own god-like abilities. But it would also explain why & how she finds herself in the position of having to start over ... level 1 all over again, regaining her strength and ability and re-learning her capacity to memorize spells & such.

If you make her weak enough, and yet have her continually referring to her pre-almost-invalid state, you can set up some interesting tensions between a few of the other NPCs who would openly disbelieve and/or dislike her. This would also be all the more reason she would be hesitant to trust ppl or get close to ppl despite her instinct to nurture them in various ways even though by sight she could pass for a non-Drow.

You could also give her more internal tension between her bitterness at her exile and the new reality of her limitations vs. the kind and edifying person she used to be & still wants to be. Bitterness warring with hope, in a way.

Just a few ideas, no biggie.

[Xander77]

You could also make her single race, single class, never seen a god, non munchkin mary-sue NPC. Also, make her suck less.

[Stone Wolf]

Whoa, easy there! Haven't you ever heard the phrase "it's easier to catch flies with honey than with..." <rereads Domi's post> "battery acid to the face?" The general consensus is that the character would hog too much of the spotlight, and people are discussing it. No need to get so aggressive with someone new to the community over it.

[Chevar]

Okay, I'm going to say it;

Why in the world would an NPC like that want to bother going 'slumming' with a PC group?

[Yochlol]

Like I've said before: This is just a mod idea, it's not finished. Calm down, people, I'm new to this, ok?

My thanks to those who have helped me with their constructive criticism so far. :thumb: I was not satisfied with the story myself and I'm willing to change it. I really appreciate the help I've gotten so far, and I'm hoping you will continue to help me.

As for your idea, Stone Wolf, I like it. Ene is searching for her identity and her past, but we can forget about the Old World, we will leave it out. She's half mortal, half angel, and that's why she's in Athkatla.

One of the quests would then be to find her people. (Elves, not drow, and it will be the elves of Suldanesselar, for example.)

[Stone Wolf]

You could also make it a smaller colony in a new area. Not that I'm trying to make the mod more complex or anything.

[Yochlol]

Well, like I said, I'm not much of a mod maker, and I know that a lot of you are busy, but it would be really cool if we could make this mod idea work.

As for the witch class: I'm thinking maybe she can use the cleric spell book, mage spells going to lvl 7 only, since it's such a powerful class. (+ the penalty to XP)

Ok, but back to the Underdark part and the Matron Mother. Let's say the Matron decided to adopt the child, but she had to work twice as hard as the other female drow and had to prove her worth on top of that. She was to be a priestess of Lolth, but her mage brothers taught her the arts of arcane magic and so she combined divine and arcane magic. When she fled to the surface, she found refuge among druids, and not the Avariel, and there she learned nature magic as well, making the unike witch class.

She then meets this merchant who tells her about her mother being half drow, half elven, but she doesn't learn about her father. She then tries to find the elves, travelling to Athkatla where she meets Salvanas, hoping he can help her find them. (Explains why she's standing next to him at the Copper Coronet, I'd think)

We'll just leave the shield-maiden class out and make her a single-class witch. How does that sound?

[Yochlol]

Ok, I'm making the changes for the story now. Anything else I should add?

[Yochlol]

History:(Edited)
Childhood: Enelya was born in Waterdeep, in a very respected family. A drow raiding party attacked and killed Enelya?s parents, taking Enelya with them as a ?trophy?. She was too young to be a slave and too old to be killed, so one of the Matron Mothers decided to adopt her. It was for practical reasons, as the Matron Mother didn?t have any daughters, only sons. Enelya then grew up as the only daughter of a house insignia, but she had to work twice as hard as the other female drow. She had three brothers, two were mages and the last was an assassin. Her mage brothers taught her all about arcane magic, but their mistress wanted Enelya to become a priestess of Lolth, and so Enelya learned to combine her mage training with her cleric training.
Womanhood: To prove her worth to the Matron Mother, Enelya was sent on a mission to retrieve something of great value to the duergar. This was something Lolth demanded, as Enelya wasn?t the real daughter of her Matron Mother. Her brothers came with her, and they set their destination for Dorn?s Deep. On their way, they ran into a group of Avariel ? three in all. Since Enelya had the appearance of a surface elf, she managed to start a conversation with them. They told her about a relic that the duergar had taken from them, and that they had come to the Underdark to get it back. Enelya and her brothers agreed to help if the Avariel helped them in return. An agreement was made, and they travelled to Dorn?s Deep in one big group. Enelya?s assassin brother took care of the guards and the mages took care of any wards. It was Enelya?s job to sneak into the treasure vault and get the relic and some treasure out. The mages followed her to take care of any wards in the room and the assassin stood outside to make sure no-one would interrupt them. She found lots of treasure and brought all she could carry with her. Her brothers helped her and lastly, they were to take the relic. The second they took the relic, however, an alarm sounded. The doors to the treasure vault locked themselves up, and her last brother had to flee. A horde of duergar was on its way to the treasure vault. Things looked grim, and there was no hope for her brothers to get them out. Then, all of a sudden, the three Avariel flew into the vault, as there was no roof, and brought Enelya and her brothers out of it. She willingly gave the relic to the Avariel in gratitude, and swore to always remember what they had done for her and her brothers. When she returned to her Matron Mother, there was no end to the satisfaction in her mistress? face. Even the handmaidens were pleased with her.
However, soon came the time when she would rise to power and replace the Matron. After her meeting with the Avariel, she had learned a new way to deal with people and problems that didn?t require the use of the blade. She confronted her Matron Mother with this and told her straight to her face that she loved her and didn?t wish to kill her. After that, she fled the Underdark, seeking refuge among the a grove of druids. Even though they were very suspicious of her, they let her stay with them and taught her all about nature and nature magic ? allowing her to create the unike witch class.
Seeking her past: Soon came the time when her destiny would take another turn. A dwarven merchant from Waterdeep visited the druid grove. He was quick to recognize Enelya and told her everything about her past before the drow. How her mother had been half drow, half elven, an abomination in the eyes of the drow, and was therefore killed. How her father had been killed in his attempt to save his family. With this information she went to Waterdeep, trying to gather some information. She had to stop in Athkatla on her way, the road being too dangerous for her to continue her travels.

I'm just wondering: Is it possible to add Waterdeep to the map?

[Stone Wolf]

You can add new map locations, though it takes a bit of work to make it compatible with all other mods that add areas. Of course, that means making the city areas too.

[Yochlol]

Ok, but what did you think of the story? Was it good? Was it horrible?

[Shed]

You have not given a sufficient justification for any involvement of the drow.

She was too young to be a slave and too old to be killed, so one of the Matron Mothers decided to adopt her. It was for practical reasons, as the Matron Mother didn?t have any daughters, only sons.

I am trying very hard not to be quite as rude as Domi, although of course what she says is quite valid. Basically, anything related to drow, angels ( :ninja: ) or Drizzt ( ) is entirely ridiculous. Moreover, this current story is quite irrelevant for an NPC. It doesn't actually add anything. And if the personality you envisaged earlier remains then Enelya = Mary Sue.

Waterdeep is geographically a really really long way from AMN hence actually fitting it onto the current map will be impossible and creating a new map will mean large swathes of map that are unused. It's like the West Coast of England, and then Paris.

[Yochlol]

I left out the part about Drizzt, didn't I?

Ok, how about her mother originally coming from Suldanesselar, then? And Ene isn't as powerful as I wrote in the first post, her stats are now:

Str: 14
Dex: 17
Con: 10
Int: 18
Wis: 16
Cha: 16

Resistances: 15% Cold, fire, acid and electricity

So when the PC saves Suldanesselar, Ene finally has a chance to learn more about her parents. This continues on in ToB, where she learns about her father. Is that more fair?

Ok, alternatives for Underdark childhood, anyone?