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The following are some comments that came up when we were working on a certain project of mine (not Beyond the Law). I have not written any dialogue for that Mod so far, but I think the following would be part of what makes or breaks a Mod's dialogue/banter sections.
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One issue that I have with many many NPCs is the absence of conflicts with Bioware NPCs, and usually alarm bells start going off the moment I see an NPC who
- manages to out-talk Edwin easily
- manages to make Anomen admit that he/she fights much better than him
- manages to out-insult Viconia
- manages to make Jaheira agree to their every word
- manages to make Keldorn put down his austere side and play with them
- manages to get Aerie from crying to grinning in a few sentences
- manages to make everyone else look stupid
- manages to get along with everyone else
- manages to make everyone else really like the person
- manages to immediately cause many of the members of the opposite gender in the game to fall head-over-heels in love with the person
- manages to fight better than everyone else in the game, and other NPCs give fanservice in the banters
- manages to cast spells better than everyone else in the game, and other NPCs give fanservice in the banters
- (and this last one I hate the most) is described to be so incredibly lovely and smart he/she makes you immediately become like a nervous idiot in front of him/her and make all the other romance alternatives look like ugly stupid pigs/sows queueing up (oh yes I actually came across one that fell into this category... major ouchies. The moment her first banter hit me I immediately expelled her from my party)
You forgot "manages to intimidate Korgan"
that's worse than the others, in my opinion.
