66 replies to this topic

[Celestine]

aww, thanks Farsal. I'll post the next chapter somewhere this week. thanks for reading.

[farsal]

Three happy faces for chapter three. Thought this was the smoothest chapter yet and I love how you (from what I recall) diverged from the original and then converged back to the original. Does that sentance make any sense? In short, liked it very much!


More, more, more. No pressure, of course.

[Celestine]

Three happy faces for chapter three. Thought this was the smoothest chapter yet and I love how you (from what I recall) diverged from the original and then converged back to the original. Does that sentance make any sense? In short, liked it very much!


More, more, more. No pressure, of course.

thank you farsal. Yeah. what you said made sense. I wanted to fill in any holes that were left in the first version, at the same time introduced some more angst and stuff. thanks for reading.

[MorningGlory]

Hi, celestine!

I'm running late -- as usual! But I wanted to chime in and tell you what a joy this is, and I really do like what you've done in the 'overhauled' version. Good stuff, my friend! Keep it up!!

MG

[Celestine]

thank you MG *hugs*. I have chapter 4 in the works, hopefully will be able to post it this weekend.

[Shadowhawke]

Battles?! Yippee!!
Can't wait, Celestine!

Uh... *hint hint, nudge nudge?*

[Celestine]

Battles?! Yippee!!
Can't wait, Celestine!

Uh... *hint hint, nudge nudge?*

hehe um, i haven't wrote a word this week. I'll start typing in a while. thanks for nudging me. hehee.

[Shadowhawke]

hehe um, i haven't wrote a word this week. I'll start typing in a while. thanks for nudging me. hehee.

No problem! Anything to read more...

[farsal]

Dear Celestine,

Do you realize that it is almost ten days between chapters? Your public is getting restless. Hope all is well? If all is good, then...get thee to your computer! No pressure, of course.

Best Wishes,

Farsal

[Celestine]

Dear Celestine,

Do you realize that it is almost ten days between chapters? Your public is getting restless. Hope all is well? If all is good, then...get thee to your computer! No pressure, of course.

Best Wishes,

Farsal

hehe. my bad. I've got three quarters of the next chapter done. Now, just hatching an evil plot and trying to make it even more evil. Thanks for nudge. Next chapter will be posted within these two days.

[Celestine]

There, new chapter posted. Hope it meet all your expectations. Sorry it took me such a long time to do it, I had a dry spell of writing block.

[farsal]

What a lovely surprise to find a new chapter so soon after your last posting. I don't know how you do it but I find that with every chapter I am just becoming immensely interested in the action when you end the posting leaving me wanting more. I will wait patiently for the next installment.

[Celestine]

What a lovely surprise to find a new chapter so soon after your last posting. I don't know how you do it but I find that with every chapter I am just becoming immensely interested in the action when you end the posting leaving me wanting more. I will wait patiently for the next installment.

Thanks Farsal. I had this chapter done on the same day as Chapter 5 but only posted it today after a bit of minor editing. I'm so glad you enjoyed the story.

[Shadowhawke]

Hey! VERY nice work, Celestine! I love how you've tweaked the plot! Good on you... and write some more!!

[Celestine]

thanks shadowhawke. I have plans for more plot twists. hehe. thanks for reading.

[Shadowhawke]

thanks shadowhawke. I have plans for more plot twists. hehe. thanks for reading.

Thanks for reading?!?!?! You couldn't KEEP me from reading, my friend!

[Beyshaliban]

I can savely say that this story ranks among my all time favourites. Catching up is a pleasure when reading the chapters that were posted since I last had a look (which was a while ago).

Wonderful read, Celestine, thank you!

Bey

[Celestine]

Thanks Bey. I'm so glad you find the story enjoyable.

Catching up is a pleasure when reading the chapters that were posted since I last had a look (which was a while ago).

I'm still catching up on several stories here myself. hehe.

[farsal]

First, as always, very pretty. An exciting addition.

A few minor suggestions in paragraph one:

"Anomen knelt beside Enielle, placing his arms gently beneath her and pulling her close..." Using her name personalizes the sentence and minor rearranging of sequence.

"He gazed at the limp body of the woman he once loved; her face pale and drained of color. Minor typo and 'gazed' just seems to fit your lyrical style better than 'looked.'

"His fingers trembled and he knew that something..." or "His fingers trembling, he knew that something..." Simplified.

"He held the elf close to him..." Female elf jarred me slightly and is redundant.

"He suspected that the powers he had stolen from Enielle bound his life to hers" Again, simplified, it struck me as an awkward sentence.

Of course, the above are only suggestions and certainly can be ignored. On to the unalduterated praise...

"...his dark eyes lined with tears." Very poetic descriptive Celestine.
"...with such force that the wand snapped in half." Great detail.

As always a pleasure to read your work. More please.


PS: Total and abject apologies for posting in your story. I have pm'd MG and hopefully she can rectify my horrendous and appalling mistake. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Really sorry.

Edited because Smillies did not survive cut and paste.

Edited by farsal, 08 June 2004 - 06:12 PM.

[Celestine]

thanks so much Farsal about the suggestions. They are very helpful and I agree with the points mentioned. I realised I made more mistakes on this chapter. *note to self must re-read before posting* hehe.

PS: Total and abject apologies for posting in your story. I have pm'd MG and hopefully she can rectify my horrendous and appalling mistake. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

its no problem. hehe. Again, thanks so much for the comments and suggestions. I took your suggestions and made a few amendments to the sentences.

Edited by Celestine, 08 June 2004 - 05:33 PM.