14 replies to this topic

[vilkacis]

So we've all heard about how the Praystation and Ecksbocks versions of DA2 will be THE NEW SHIT "console friendly". Basically, this means you press a button, and Hawke swings his sword. Press another button, do something like a thrust or a shield bash.

...wait, haven't I seen this gameplay somewhere before? It seems -



THIS BLIGHT IS GETTING CRAZY!!

It is also rumoured that Hawke will carry a pair of dual auto-crossbows called Ebony and Irony.

(Not gonna lie, if this means I'll get to wield an enchanted lute that shoots bats and lightning at people, I'm going to have to buy three copies of this game.)


Also-

-brzzt-

This just in! Dragon Age II will carry themes of Greek mythology.



ZEUS! YOUR ASS IS GRASS AND THESE ARE MY LAWNMOWING BOOTS!


And while we're on that subje-

-brzzt-

Wait. What is a Dragon Age? A miserable little pil*shot* Why, DARK FANTASY, of course! Dark and EDGY fantasy!



CRAAAWLING IIIN MY SKIIIN

Press L2 to apply black eyeliner.

Also, press X to cut yourself.


Actually, I was thinki-

-brzzt-



...wait, that is starting to look really familia-




"RAWR LAWSUIT"


....oh, crap.






I am ridiculously fond of that "2" in the DMC logo.



Update jul 30:

This just in!



Dragon Age II will allow you to strap crossbows to your ankles and shoot people... by kicking them!


Also, it will follow the adventures of Hayabusa Hawke this is Japan, so Hawke is actually his "first" name to us in his quest for epic, generic revenge.



Windmill shuriken may be involved.


And the new qunari concept art reminds me slightly of something else, so I'm doing this thing:



See, it's funny because Blood Omen 2 is the game most fans are trying very hard to forget it exists. Much like Dragon Age 2. OH, BURN!

...seriously though, anyone who enjoyed Simon Templeman's performance as Loghain owes it to themselves to check out Legacy of Kain. Even if it's just the last game, "Defiance". The Kain voice is one of the best things ever.


Update sept 1:



Apparently, the optional superboss will be the legendary dark lord Dracula! Brace yourself for pants-wetting difficulty.

Edited by vilkacis, 01 September 2010 - 02:17 PM.

[Miloch]

Heh. Someone spent a lot of time in Photoshop Paint Shop Gimp MS Paint today...

So we've all heard about how the Praystation and Ecksbocks versions of DA2 will be THE NEW SHIT "console friendly". Basically, this means you press a button, and Hawke swings his sword. Press another button, do something like a thrust or a shield bash.

But aren't all console games like that? Take the "Forgotten Realms" Demon Stone (Dragon Stone?), where you have to memorise an insane number of button combos just to do simple, stupid shit like trip-kick a slaad into a pool of molten lava (or use my strategy, which is just mash every button in sight until everything drops dead or you do - it all amounts to the same in the end).

Maybe I'll buy it when it makes it to the super-bargain bin, but the question is: will I play more than the first chapter or two? Demon Stone is still gathering dust after getting about halfway through it - gets a bit monotonous after a while like most console-type games (they actually made a PC version, I dunno why though).

[WeeRLegion]

Tssskkh... Had me snorting with laughter. Good job. xP

[vilkacis]

Heh. Someone spent a lot of time in Photoshop Paint Shop Gimp MS Paint today...

Yes. Paint4lyfe.

But aren't all console games like that?

Nah, it's quite possible to have menu-based console games.

Take the "Forgotten Realms" Demon Stone (Dragon Stone?), where you have to memorise an insane number of button combos just to do simple, stupid shit like trip-kick a slaad into a pool of molten lava (or use my strategy, which is just mash every button in sight until everything drops dead or you do - it all amounts to the same in the end).

Haha, I thought I was the only person who played that. (My strategy: be the wizard, shoot things from a distance, reap rewards, repeat.) Also: damn, I knew I was forgetting something.

Maybe I'll buy it when it makes it to the super-bargain bin, but the question is: will I play more than the first chapter or two? Demon Stone is still gathering dust after getting about halfway through it - gets a bit monotonous after a while like most console-type games (they actually made a PC version, I dunno why though).

They do say DA2 will play much like DA:O on the PC, it's only the consoles getting the "action gameplay".

Tssskkh... Had me snorting with laughter. Good job. xP

Mwahaha. My work here... is...

...actually, probably not done, now that I come to think of it.

[Eleima]

Thanks for the good laugh, Vilkacis!!!
About your... um, "concerns", I'll still be hoping against hope that BioWare stays true to itself and avoid all those pitfalls (if I see a hint of eyeliner!...). Come one, let's give them a chance!! (And perhaps EA will let them work their magic...)

[Philiposophy]

ROFL. Great job.

[vilkacis]

Hmhmhm. Thanks for the encouragement, people.

I've updated the first post with a few more. Now with extra bats!




(Damn it Bioware, post more screenshots! I'm going to run out of DA2 material before I run out of 'shoppable generic action game logos )

[theacefes]

Mass Effect still looks prettier.

[Choo Choo]

...

*laughs forever*

You win at life.

[vilkacis]

Mass Effect still looks prettier.

I already made a Mass Effect joke, though.

You win at life.

Why, thank you.

*resists saying soemthing about "the prize" because that would just be awful*

[Choo Choo]

*resists saying soemthing about "the prize" because that would just be awful*

Yes. Yes, it would be.

*beats Jacob to death with a turian-shaped stick*

Ahem. Yes. Dragon Age II, not ME2, was it?

Edited by Choo Choo, 30 July 2010 - 10:31 AM.

[theacefes]

I already made a Mass Effect joke, though.

Sure. I was just making a statement about it though.

[vilkacis]

The upcoming Castlevania game kind of reminds me of God of War.

You know what else kind of reminds me of God of War? Dragon Age II.


In completely unrelated news, I've updated the first post with one more image at the bottom.

Edited by vilkacis, 01 September 2010 - 02:21 PM.
you know if it turns out the Hawkes are the guardians of a legendary demon-slaying whip, I may be willing to forgive Bioware for a lot of things.

[KIrving]

@vilkacis
I love these and would like to see more, especially using the latest art for Isabela.

[vilkacis]

Hmm. Maybe I could do a Tomb Raider spoof...