dude, i bow down before your greatness. you are indeed a master compared to the rest of those comedy apprentices.
i loved it man, absolute quality.
Thrain's Content
There have been 32 items by Thrain (Search limited from 30-April 23)
#156711 Comments on "How Mazzy got her Groove Back"
Posted by
on 26 September 2004 - 10:17 AM
in
Scribbles on the Wall
#149567 Comments on "The Tangled Web"
Posted by
on 05 September 2004 - 11:53 AM
in
Scribbles on the Wall
well bugger me with a yardstick, she's only gone and finished it. and it ain't half-bad either 
honestly, this is a bloody good story jol. i've said before i like you writing style and though i believe you cannot be perfect due to the subjective nature of the fom. anyway i'm babbling.
in reference to that latest (and last
) chapter, i particularly like the way the epilogue is written. a nice twist to the canon which, to be honest, is refreshing. it also drove home Irenicus' single-mindedness and his complete lack of compassion which, although touched upon in the game, is not fully explored elsewhere. It also gives a good insight into Bodhi's bloodlust and the general eroticism that you gave vampirism earlier (so continuity, very nice ). Finally, i found myself feeling sorry for Valen. whether you intended to make her the tragic figure or not i felt that, even though she is a vampire (ergo inherently evil) she found love in a man who ends up being a hero (not strictly canonical but something which certainly exists in Yoshi's character), she loses the direction in her life when she makes the decision not to follow Bodhi to Athkatla, primarily because she knows the party will have to go there to retrieve Imoen's soul if they don't catch Bodhi in Underdark.
basically jolyth, my dear, this is a bloody good read and i thouroughly enjoyed it
now if only cry of the moon 2 could be updated, i wouldn't have to get back to the shambles that is my real life *hint*
honestly, this is a bloody good story jol. i've said before i like you writing style and though i believe you cannot be perfect due to the subjective nature of the fom. anyway i'm babbling.
in reference to that latest (and last
) chapter, i particularly like the way the epilogue is written. a nice twist to the canon which, to be honest, is refreshing. it also drove home Irenicus' single-mindedness and his complete lack of compassion which, although touched upon in the game, is not fully explored elsewhere. It also gives a good insight into Bodhi's bloodlust and the general eroticism that you gave vampirism earlier (so continuity, very nice ). Finally, i found myself feeling sorry for Valen. whether you intended to make her the tragic figure or not i felt that, even though she is a vampire (ergo inherently evil) she found love in a man who ends up being a hero (not strictly canonical but something which certainly exists in Yoshi's character), she loses the direction in her life when she makes the decision not to follow Bodhi to Athkatla, primarily because she knows the party will have to go there to retrieve Imoen's soul if they don't catch Bodhi in Underdark.basically jolyth, my dear, this is a bloody good read and i thouroughly enjoyed it
now if only cry of the moon 2 could be updated, i wouldn't have to get back to the shambles that is my real life *hint*
#147379 Comments on "The Community FanFic"
Posted by
on 30 August 2004 - 07:02 AM
in
Scribbles on the Wall
coming along nicely.
#146705 Comments on "The Tangled Web"
Posted by
on 28 August 2004 - 07:53 AM
in
Scribbles on the Wall
i would say you should go on holiday more often, but then youd keep us waiting more so long live inspiration!
loved the latest chapters jol, almost trembling with anticipation
loved the latest chapters jol, almost trembling with anticipation
#144662 Community Fanfic
Posted by
on 23 August 2004 - 07:30 AM
in
Scribbles on the Wall
Bethal checked her coin purse to see if she had enough money to drown herself in cheapest, dirtiest ale The Gallows had to offer. She had only been drunk twice, when Laith had stolen the innkeeper's keg and all the village's children got very merry together. Still, she presumed getting drunk was what adventurers did; at least the bards said that's what they did.
The jingle of the few coppers in her purse hid the rustle of the leaves that she should have heard behind her. But then, with the rain and her incessant mumbling to herself, Bethal wouldn't have heard a pitched battle raging around her. The path in front of her was well worn and she could make out cart tracks, which meant she definately was on the right road. It was only because she was looking down that she noticed the other tracks on the road. She had often hunted with Laith and his brothers and knew that the depressions in the ground below her were from men running. The blurred edges of the tracks, despite the mud that was sludging beneath her feet, showed her that the men were twisting and turning, like they were being chased. She straightened up and loosed her bow while hooking the light purse onto her belt. Slowly turning in her jerkin she tried to block out the rain as she listened for any movement in the nearby trees. Notching an arrow she fired one into the nearest bush to try and flush out any would-be assailants. As the shaft flew Bethal could hear the slight whistle of the air on the polished wood, but it caused no disturbance as it found its mark on a trunk above the leafy greenary. She sighed and cursed herself for being so eager to see adventure everywhere instead of finding a warm place to camp down for the night. Trudging over to the trees to retrieve her arrow (which she had paid good money for, after all, and if it wasn't going to bleed any monsters she certainly wasn't leaving it behind), Bethal pondered whether to find a group to join up with. Adventurers always had companions, and maybe she could make a name for herself and form her own group, like Drizzt or Mazzy Fentan.
When the squirrel dived from its hiding place in the bush to sprint up the tree, Bethal shrieked and jumped in the air. Any thoughts of adventure were driven from her head as the shock of seeing the creature rush in front of her set in so quickly. When she had recovered and her heart stopped pounding, she giggled that she would be so frightened at such a harmless animal. The only thing that stopped her from responding to the girlish instincts of cooing over it and petting it was the thumping rain which was now removing any sign of tracks from the path. It drove her on, but the adreneline from her encounter lifted her heart and she began to sing...
The jingle of the few coppers in her purse hid the rustle of the leaves that she should have heard behind her. But then, with the rain and her incessant mumbling to herself, Bethal wouldn't have heard a pitched battle raging around her. The path in front of her was well worn and she could make out cart tracks, which meant she definately was on the right road. It was only because she was looking down that she noticed the other tracks on the road. She had often hunted with Laith and his brothers and knew that the depressions in the ground below her were from men running. The blurred edges of the tracks, despite the mud that was sludging beneath her feet, showed her that the men were twisting and turning, like they were being chased. She straightened up and loosed her bow while hooking the light purse onto her belt. Slowly turning in her jerkin she tried to block out the rain as she listened for any movement in the nearby trees. Notching an arrow she fired one into the nearest bush to try and flush out any would-be assailants. As the shaft flew Bethal could hear the slight whistle of the air on the polished wood, but it caused no disturbance as it found its mark on a trunk above the leafy greenary. She sighed and cursed herself for being so eager to see adventure everywhere instead of finding a warm place to camp down for the night. Trudging over to the trees to retrieve her arrow (which she had paid good money for, after all, and if it wasn't going to bleed any monsters she certainly wasn't leaving it behind), Bethal pondered whether to find a group to join up with. Adventurers always had companions, and maybe she could make a name for herself and form her own group, like Drizzt or Mazzy Fentan.
When the squirrel dived from its hiding place in the bush to sprint up the tree, Bethal shrieked and jumped in the air. Any thoughts of adventure were driven from her head as the shock of seeing the creature rush in front of her set in so quickly. When she had recovered and her heart stopped pounding, she giggled that she would be so frightened at such a harmless animal. The only thing that stopped her from responding to the girlish instincts of cooing over it and petting it was the thumping rain which was now removing any sign of tracks from the path. It drove her on, but the adreneline from her encounter lifted her heart and she began to sing...
#144362 Comments on "About a young paladin"
Posted by
on 22 August 2004 - 05:04 AM
in
Scribbles on the Wall
better. still don't like this bit though
Unconsciously braided the flaxen locks, the Paladin gave silent prayer to Lathander as he did so. Finally, just a morning without some desperate pitch-battle to precede it, and with no plans to engage in conflict… When was the last name the youth had a moment such as this?
Peaceful.
Calm.
A tranquil unspoiled— huh… what… what was that shadow?
just doesn't scan for me
Unconsciously braided the flaxen locks, the Paladin gave silent prayer to Lathander as he did so. Finally, just a morning without some desperate pitch-battle to precede it, and with no plans to engage in conflict… When was the last name the youth had a moment such as this?
Peaceful.
Calm.
A tranquil unspoiled— huh… what… what was that shadow?
just doesn't scan for me
#144239 Comments on "About a young paladin"
Posted by
on 21 August 2004 - 12:18 PM
in
Scribbles on the Wall
well well, very interesting. I liked the start; descriptive, set out your character etc.
i didn't think he was a paladin by the description though, maybe some kind of rogue but if that's the effect you were going for, fair dos.
I thought your characterisation of Yoshimo was pretty good but didn't contain the subtle nuances of the canon. when you were describing his allies, you kinda pounded it in with a sledgehammer, which contrasted with the tranquility of the rest of the piece.
There were no real personality traits shown by your PC but again, that might have been the effect you were going for.
The only real issue i have is you slipped from 3rd person to 1st person perspectives in your writing and that tends to be a big nono in the literary department unless its used for specific effect.
Very promising though.
i didn't think he was a paladin by the description though, maybe some kind of rogue but if that's the effect you were going for, fair dos.
I thought your characterisation of Yoshimo was pretty good but didn't contain the subtle nuances of the canon. when you were describing his allies, you kinda pounded it in with a sledgehammer, which contrasted with the tranquility of the rest of the piece.
There were no real personality traits shown by your PC but again, that might have been the effect you were going for.
The only real issue i have is you slipped from 3rd person to 1st person perspectives in your writing and that tends to be a big nono in the literary department unless its used for specific effect.
Very promising though.
#143499 is this game worth a purchase?
Posted by
on 19 August 2004 - 08:50 AM
in
KotOR Series
i'm an avid baldur's gate player. own the whole series. i've been dissapointed with other rpgs like NWN. however i do love starwars, so is KotOR worth a flutter?
#143453 Comments on "Cry of the Moon 2"
Posted by
on 19 August 2004 - 05:58 AM
in
Scribbles on the Wall
it's what he was best at, being an assassin and all
doesn't always mean that he's evil. and IIRC, they play a game of bones to decide who gets the throne of death
doesn't always mean that he's evil. and IIRC, they play a game of bones to decide who gets the throne of death
#143357 Comments on "Cry of the Moon 2"
Posted by
on 18 August 2004 - 11:19 PM
in
Scribbles on the Wall
the guy's been dead for a long time, all he has left are two daughters (and an errant son, but he aint present here), why shouldn't he try and be be protective?
#143115 Comments on "Cry of the Moon 2"
Posted by
on 18 August 2004 - 08:27 AM
in
Scribbles on the Wall
well shucks :^^:
if only i could be arsed to actually figure out a story with which to apply my talent.
anywhoo, keep up the good work
if only i could be arsed to actually figure out a story with which to apply my talent.
anywhoo, keep up the good work
#142881 Comments on "The Nice Guy's Last Finish"
Posted by
on 17 August 2004 - 12:57 PM
in
Scribbles on the Wall
ohmygodohmygodohmygod!!!!
i feel sorry for Anomen! i understand what drives his arrogance and the whole foolishness of him! ohmygodohmygod!
dude, you rule
oooooh, but i do have an issue with the use of the word 'baptised'. i'm not up on my d&d lore, but were any god's followers baptised? at least in the way we see it (the christian thing)?
i feel sorry for Anomen! i understand what drives his arrogance and the whole foolishness of him! ohmygodohmygod!
dude, you rule
oooooh, but i do have an issue with the use of the word 'baptised'. i'm not up on my d&d lore, but were any god's followers baptised? at least in the way we see it (the christian thing)?
#142744 Comments on "The Nice Guy's Last Finish"
Posted by
on 17 August 2004 - 05:27 AM
in
Scribbles on the Wall
I was almost drooling halfway through
absolutely quality. i haven't played with Sola so i don't know whether your writing is canonical or not but i have played with Haer and you do write him very well.
can't wait for the next installments.
absolutely quality. i haven't played with Sola so i don't know whether your writing is canonical or not but i have played with Haer and you do write him very well.
can't wait for the next installments.
#142742 Comments on "Cry of the Moon 2"
Posted by
on 17 August 2004 - 05:17 AM
in
Scribbles on the Wall
Veldrin was the name taken by the PC in Underdark, but Adalon claimed she had killed the party from Chad Nesad (sp?) and that was why you could take the identity so easily.
perhaps Veldrin's house has been empowered by someone who's not too happy with Cyreth. Cyric himself, maybe?
i like your chapter 2, but you seem to be relying on some shock tactics. By that I mean "This happened, then this happened, that was weird, suddenly...etc. etc." i'd love to see you vary the pace with some detailed description, because i certainly think you're capable of it. As Cyreth runs down the stairs, for example;
"As the Bhaalspawn reached the bottom of the staircase, she was halted in her tracks at the sight before her. Old friends always seemed so much more.......alive when you see them outside of memories. The slender figure crowded the doorway as if it was her own, not the entrance to the house of a righteous paladin. Maria stepped back, emotion etched onto her face the Cyreth could not read. It was not fear, for Cyreth had seen that in all its forms. It was more amazment that such a reviled creature could be so bold in the city of coin.
The woman in the doorway shook her head slightly and her hood slipped away, revealed a shock of silver hair, flowing down her back like a river. The simple golden circlet that held it back from her face was well worn, as were her robes, which evidently had seen better days. However, the overgarments revealed a much more ornate, and closer fitting, dress. The provocative slit down the middle exposed just enough breast for her to attract attention to herself.
Her skin, the hue of opals glowed as if it was in moonlight. Clearly her beauty was as powerful as it was exotic. However, the mace hanging at her side hinted at the dark side that Cyreth knew extremely well.
"Viconia!"
"Cyreth!" the drow cried with some relief"
I really enjoy the way you write, but i'm a detail hound, so apologies if it sounds like i'm criticising.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Is that an invitation my lady?” Dirk raised his eyebrow roguishly.
“It certainly is, my master bard,” Cyreth grinned back just as roguishly.
i like the dialogue here, but i really don't like the repeated use of rogueishly. it's great in the first instance, but i can't help feeling a synonym to describe Cyreth's reaction rather than the repetition would be better. Maybe "Cyreth's grin reflecting his expression" or "Cyreth grinned back, just as playfully"
With the aid of MS Word, i actually found some synonyms
- mischievously
- naughtily
- impishly
perhaps Veldrin's house has been empowered by someone who's not too happy with Cyreth. Cyric himself, maybe?
i like your chapter 2, but you seem to be relying on some shock tactics. By that I mean "This happened, then this happened, that was weird, suddenly...etc. etc." i'd love to see you vary the pace with some detailed description, because i certainly think you're capable of it. As Cyreth runs down the stairs, for example;
"As the Bhaalspawn reached the bottom of the staircase, she was halted in her tracks at the sight before her. Old friends always seemed so much more.......alive when you see them outside of memories. The slender figure crowded the doorway as if it was her own, not the entrance to the house of a righteous paladin. Maria stepped back, emotion etched onto her face the Cyreth could not read. It was not fear, for Cyreth had seen that in all its forms. It was more amazment that such a reviled creature could be so bold in the city of coin.
The woman in the doorway shook her head slightly and her hood slipped away, revealed a shock of silver hair, flowing down her back like a river. The simple golden circlet that held it back from her face was well worn, as were her robes, which evidently had seen better days. However, the overgarments revealed a much more ornate, and closer fitting, dress. The provocative slit down the middle exposed just enough breast for her to attract attention to herself.
Her skin, the hue of opals glowed as if it was in moonlight. Clearly her beauty was as powerful as it was exotic. However, the mace hanging at her side hinted at the dark side that Cyreth knew extremely well.
"Viconia!"
"Cyreth!" the drow cried with some relief"
I really enjoy the way you write, but i'm a detail hound, so apologies if it sounds like i'm criticising.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Is that an invitation my lady?” Dirk raised his eyebrow roguishly.
“It certainly is, my master bard,” Cyreth grinned back just as roguishly.
i like the dialogue here, but i really don't like the repeated use of rogueishly. it's great in the first instance, but i can't help feeling a synonym to describe Cyreth's reaction rather than the repetition would be better. Maybe "Cyreth's grin reflecting his expression" or "Cyreth grinned back, just as playfully"
With the aid of MS Word, i actually found some synonyms
- mischievously
- naughtily
- impishly
#139633 Comments on "Cry of the Moon 2"
Posted by
on 05 August 2004 - 02:36 PM
in
Scribbles on the Wall
hey, it's all good. if you don't know the ending, it will come as a suprise to us because you won't be leading us subconcious clues in the writing. (i won't copywrite that excuse so you can use it 
)
i really need to stop playing and start writing....
)i really need to stop playing and start writing....
#139246 Comments on "Cry of the Moon 2"
Posted by
on 04 August 2004 - 07:48 AM
in
Scribbles on the Wall
or even broiled?
i have to say, i'm really looking forward to reading the furthering adventures of Cyreth and company. and i wanna know who the star wolves are!
as for comments on grammar and suchlike and so on and so forth, the bit with the worry draining from her face, i like jolyth's sugestion, but maybe "The worry drained the colour from her face..."
makes personification of the worry; it seems proactive rather than something that's moderately under control.
i have to say, i'm really looking forward to reading the furthering adventures of Cyreth and company. and i wanna know who the star wolves are!
as for comments on grammar and suchlike and so on and so forth, the bit with the worry draining from her face, i like jolyth's sugestion, but maybe "The worry drained the colour from her face..."
makes personification of the worry; it seems proactive rather than something that's moderately under control.
#137250 Comments on "The Tangled Web"
Posted by
on 30 July 2004 - 03:19 AM
in
Scribbles on the Wall
*claps*
a magnificent discovery on my return to the boards
jolyth, i'm really enjoying this. i haven't played Valen myself, but i love the way Irenicus and Valen are twisting Yoshimo because of the geas and his feelings respectively. whether Valen persuaded Yoshimo out of good intentions or her own feelings (although the latest installment does seem to answer that) interests me greatly.
i wonder whether you're going to stick to canon and have Yoshi killed off somehow.........
keep it up, great story.
a magnificent discovery on my return to the boards
jolyth, i'm really enjoying this. i haven't played Valen myself, but i love the way Irenicus and Valen are twisting Yoshimo because of the geas and his feelings respectively. whether Valen persuaded Yoshimo out of good intentions or her own feelings (although the latest installment does seem to answer that) interests me greatly.
i wonder whether you're going to stick to canon and have Yoshi killed off somehow.........
keep it up, great story.
#132669 audio
Posted by
on 16 July 2004 - 02:48 AM
in
Hubelpot
love it.i''ll do hamlish as well, but not sure how it'll turn out.
#132470 audio
Posted by
on 15 July 2004 - 01:17 PM
in
Hubelpot
i know the work is being done on the scripts and suchlike and it's hard work (appreciate it, is gonna be a fantastic mod), but is there a prospective date for me and notmrt to get scripts?
#131983 My evil NPC killed both Lehtian & Hendak
Posted by
on 14 July 2004 - 12:04 AM
in
IE Mod Ideas
could be very interesting. set prices, buy stock etc. etc.
how are you going to deal with the stuff bernard sells? you can't just give it away for free
how are you going to deal with the stuff bernard sells? you can't just give it away for free
#131854 Keldorn
Posted by
on 13 July 2004 - 02:27 PM
in
IE Mod Ideas
To complain about it not being "faithful" to the story is at least ironic, if not hypocritical.
if this was aimed at me, i do apologise for not putting my point across correctly. in my opinion, in order to change Keldorn into a romanceable character, you would have to change his character, perhaps even how he views things, which is more than simply changing the canon, it is making Keldorn.......not Keldorn
#131836 Keldorn
Posted by
on 13 July 2004 - 01:59 PM
in
IE Mod Ideas
with all due respect, merely being female and growing up in a society where social influence plays a big factor will affect the way a lot of women see Keldorn. But that's psychology and we don't want to get into that.
The fact remains that Keldorn IS a man of duty. He is noble and loyal, we see that in his actions throughout the game. I believe that, even though Maria leaves him (or is put in prison), Keldorn's character and personal experience do not lend to a romance mod at all.
Look at the other romance's available in the vanilla game:
Keldorn believes in his loyalty and his duty. He doesn't need you as an emotional crutch, he follows you in the course of his duty and the oath he makes to you. Because of his faith in Torm and his duties, he will consider his marriage vows as sacred, whether Maria has left him or not. Perhaps this is my interpretation of his honour coming through but i simply cannot see how you can make Keldorn a romanceable character without changing the family situation (which, in my opinion, detracts from both the quest and his character).
The fact remains that Keldorn IS a man of duty. He is noble and loyal, we see that in his actions throughout the game. I believe that, even though Maria leaves him (or is put in prison), Keldorn's character and personal experience do not lend to a romance mod at all.
Look at the other romance's available in the vanilla game:
- Aerie: helpless. you are like a knight in shining armour. Her reliance on you leads to love (something which she has NOT experienced before)
- Jaheira: a perhaps unfeasible romance pushed by bioware but regardless, she has lost a loved one and turns to you for support, using you as an emotional crutch if you will. Yes she is still strong and independant, but the support you give her develops into feelings.
- Viconia: regardless of how you look at it, Viconia's romance shows the breakdown of a woman used to strength and being dominant. In a society where she is alone, isolated and reviled, she cannot handle the pressure and breaks down when compassion is shown at the right time by CHARNAME. She is shown how to be strong.
- Anomen: he may be arrogant, pompous and self-righteous but looking at the dialogues, you find a man who is insecure about himself and requires you to propel him towards the test, you even have to make the choice for him. He cannot decide which course of action to take over his sister without you.
Keldorn believes in his loyalty and his duty. He doesn't need you as an emotional crutch, he follows you in the course of his duty and the oath he makes to you. Because of his faith in Torm and his duties, he will consider his marriage vows as sacred, whether Maria has left him or not. Perhaps this is my interpretation of his honour coming through but i simply cannot see how you can make Keldorn a romanceable character without changing the family situation (which, in my opinion, detracts from both the quest and his character).
#131515 familiars mod
Posted by
on 12 July 2004 - 01:30 PM
in
IE Mod Ideas
now in my experience, familiars are pretty much useless and generally a way to slip 12 more hp to the physically weak mages. there are other things that i won't gripe about (the only familiar with a decent pickpocket being for the LAWFUL neutral).
this thread highlights some ideas as to making the idea of a familiar actually have some use. would be very nice, and original, to create this.
this thread highlights some ideas as to making the idea of a familiar actually have some use. would be very nice, and original, to create this.
#130735 The Original Thread - Work progress
Posted by
on 10 July 2004 - 04:46 AM
in
Hubelpot
i don't feel like crossing my legs for that length of time conrad
i'll see what i can do when a script comes my way, although i won't be putting nomrt's scottishness into the son (as i can't do scottish to save my life).
i'm loving the banters btw, all have been great quality
i'll see what i can do when a script comes my way, although i won't be putting nomrt's scottishness into the son (as i can't do scottish to save my life).
i'm loving the banters btw, all have been great quality
#130612 The Original Thread - Work progress
Posted by
on 09 July 2004 - 03:17 PM
in
Hubelpot
i think being able to cast one less spell per level is a bit more of an afflictioon than you realise, especially for the slower levelling druids. maybe a spell restriction at higher levels only?
